Sharing Adventures with Different Cultures
In today's society we grow up sharing our country with many other cultures. There are so many things we can learn to share with each other if we just open up our hearts and minds to these different concepts and ways of life.
When I was a child of around 10 or 11 years old we had a 40 year old man named Salem come for a visit from Africa. It was a cold January week in which we had approximately 3 feet of snow fall.
My brothers and I were rushing about to get our outfits on to go play in the snow. Salem watched us with wonder.
"What is it that you go out to do with the snow, my children?" he asked in his broken English.
"We make snow forts, have snowball fights, ride down hills on our sleds, skate on the ice rink we made in the backyard, make snow angels. It is so much fun! Do you not have snow where you come from?" I asked him with amazement.
"I have never seen snow except on the television. Is it not cold? I see you have five layers of clothes on your person. And it is wet. Will you not freeze before you can have any fun?"
"Oh, we do get cold and wet but we have too much fun to care. Then we come inside, warm up in a hot shower and have hot chocolate and marshmallows."
My mother came around the corner with a smile on her face. "Salem, would you like to go out and play with the children? You could have great stories to tell your children back home. I have found some of our old clothes, and a snowsuit just for you." My mother held out my father's old black and orange skidoo suit he had worn years ago up north when he lived on his parents farm.
Salem was nervous about getting cold, yet the excitement showed through his dark eyes as they glanced back and forth from the snowsuit and boots to the great big snowflakes falling around outside the window.
He pulled on his snowsuit awkwardly; tucking his pant legs into the boots with great enthusiasm, becoming more enthralled with the prospect of romping around in the great big yonder.
That day was a day Salem would never forget. We had him out for over 6 hours doing everything we possibly could. When we finally came inside we were soaked from head to toe, teeth chattering, and almost blue from hypothermia.
The rest of that night, Salem delighted us with stories from his homeland. A world we knew nothing about. It was a wonderful time. At the end of the week when Salem had to return home, we felt like we were losing a part of us. We had learned that in so many of the ways we were different, we were still so inherently the same.
In a world full of diversity, where so much can be accomplished, it is sad to see that there is still so many people narrow minded and closed off from the possibilities that we could all share if we would take the time to see each other as all one mankind, to revel in the differences, and not run from the fear of the unknown, or the uncertainty of the situation. If we spent half as much time in getting to know other people and cultures as we do in prejudging or stereotyping, we could maybe see the potential we would have for true peace on earth.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Friday, October 05, 2007
Now I don't want to discredit myself, but I am going to admit that I am an advent Montel Williams, Murray Povich, and Dr. Phil watcher on day time tv.
Montel makes us aware that there are alot of issues out there that we may not pay attention to until it hits home. He is big on inspiration stories.
The other day I tuned in to teens who saved other people even when their own lives were in jeopardy. These are the true real life heroes.
In an age where it is every man for himself, it is such a refresher to watch these stories of people who are willing to step outside of their own personal safe bubble to reach out to a complete stranger in need.
You can turn on the news and see horror stories, and disasters, yet you hardly ever see hero stories. There are parents killing their kids and themselves, there is gang shootings, enraged, betrayed lover stabbings, and so much more.
How did we get so self centred and absorbed? Was it a reaction due to actions against us(perceived or not) that led us to be so wrapped up in a coccoon? Is it really only going to get worse for society? Are we predesigned to fail as mankind? Is life on earth just one slow waste of time?
Why is it that no one knows your name or worth until you are dead? Why is it when something good does happen, we all hold our breath waiting for the bad to follow?
It's pitiful. Sad, and scary, to think with all we have going for us, that we could automatically just end up in the negative.
Well, it is nice to tune in to Montel on a gray cloudy morning and find out that there is still a ray of sunshine to be found. So, thank you Montel, and to all the others out there that renew my faith in society with their selfless acts of kindness and brotherly love.
Montel makes us aware that there are alot of issues out there that we may not pay attention to until it hits home. He is big on inspiration stories.
The other day I tuned in to teens who saved other people even when their own lives were in jeopardy. These are the true real life heroes.
In an age where it is every man for himself, it is such a refresher to watch these stories of people who are willing to step outside of their own personal safe bubble to reach out to a complete stranger in need.
You can turn on the news and see horror stories, and disasters, yet you hardly ever see hero stories. There are parents killing their kids and themselves, there is gang shootings, enraged, betrayed lover stabbings, and so much more.
How did we get so self centred and absorbed? Was it a reaction due to actions against us(perceived or not) that led us to be so wrapped up in a coccoon? Is it really only going to get worse for society? Are we predesigned to fail as mankind? Is life on earth just one slow waste of time?
Why is it that no one knows your name or worth until you are dead? Why is it when something good does happen, we all hold our breath waiting for the bad to follow?
It's pitiful. Sad, and scary, to think with all we have going for us, that we could automatically just end up in the negative.
Well, it is nice to tune in to Montel on a gray cloudy morning and find out that there is still a ray of sunshine to be found. So, thank you Montel, and to all the others out there that renew my faith in society with their selfless acts of kindness and brotherly love.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Two Year Old Cleans Up
It is sometimes a very hard thing to get your children to learn how to clean. I had to try just about everything, including bribery to get my children to finally clean up after themselves.
I am reminded of a time long ago, when my oldest child was only a toddler. My daughter loved playing with my keys. We woke up one morning very late to get to a doctors appointment. After running around the house chasing my daughter to finally get her little buns dressed, I was at a loss for where I had put my keys.
I searched high and low. I checked every drawer in her bedroom, my bedroom, the bathroom, the kitchen, every available spot I could lay my eyes on where I thought the keys may have gotten to.
The time slipped by. We were too late for the appointment I had to call and cancel it. I was not impressed as I had to wait another four months to be seen again.
As I surveyed the mess of our house caused by my massive overhaul search method,I asked my daughter if she had seen my keys.
She ran into her room and grabbed her own toy keys to bring to me.
“Mommy have mine.” She quipped in her cute little baby voice.
“Thank you sweetheart, but Mommy can’t lock the door or drive the car with your keys, baby girl.” I smiled and kissed her fondly on the head.
With the appointment missed and the day wasted, I decided I may as well spend what was left on baking some cookies. My daughter loved to help me bake. Licking out the bowl and beaters were her specialty. We were going to a church picnic the following day, and I needed to make some cookies for my Sunday school class children.
I opened the oven door to take out the roasting pan and almost dropped it with surprise at what was inside. My keys lay neat in the bottom of the tray.
I started to laugh hysterically. My daughter just stood, mouth agape as I slid to the floor, holding my stomach, tears pouring down my face. She too started to laugh.
My husband came home at that time. He scanned the room in bewilderment. Clothes hanging from lamp shades, toys thrown all over, cupboards open, drawers hanging out, pots and pans littered the usually immaculate kitchen floor. There in the middle of the mess with flour from head to toe were his two girls clutching each other and laughing like wild hyenas.
When we were calmed down, my daughter and I played a new game called “Tidy Up Time.”
That is one of the joys of trying to teach your children to put things away. Sometimes it may not be something of theirs, and sometimes they may not recall where they put it. But remember, It is Always in the Last Place you look.
About the Author
Melanie Bremner is a mother of three who has written and published several children’s stories, taught Sunday school, and graduated from business school, with a minor in psychology.
She is presently running and maintaining an online retail children’s shop, and produces a bi-weekly newsletter full of stories, facts and fun for the whole family. If you would be interested in receiving tips on various topics of raising children, you can sign up for her newsletter at http://bargainbin4kids.com/
It is sometimes a very hard thing to get your children to learn how to clean. I had to try just about everything, including bribery to get my children to finally clean up after themselves.
I am reminded of a time long ago, when my oldest child was only a toddler. My daughter loved playing with my keys. We woke up one morning very late to get to a doctors appointment. After running around the house chasing my daughter to finally get her little buns dressed, I was at a loss for where I had put my keys.
I searched high and low. I checked every drawer in her bedroom, my bedroom, the bathroom, the kitchen, every available spot I could lay my eyes on where I thought the keys may have gotten to.
The time slipped by. We were too late for the appointment I had to call and cancel it. I was not impressed as I had to wait another four months to be seen again.
As I surveyed the mess of our house caused by my massive overhaul search method,I asked my daughter if she had seen my keys.
She ran into her room and grabbed her own toy keys to bring to me.
“Mommy have mine.” She quipped in her cute little baby voice.
“Thank you sweetheart, but Mommy can’t lock the door or drive the car with your keys, baby girl.” I smiled and kissed her fondly on the head.
With the appointment missed and the day wasted, I decided I may as well spend what was left on baking some cookies. My daughter loved to help me bake. Licking out the bowl and beaters were her specialty. We were going to a church picnic the following day, and I needed to make some cookies for my Sunday school class children.
I opened the oven door to take out the roasting pan and almost dropped it with surprise at what was inside. My keys lay neat in the bottom of the tray.
I started to laugh hysterically. My daughter just stood, mouth agape as I slid to the floor, holding my stomach, tears pouring down my face. She too started to laugh.
My husband came home at that time. He scanned the room in bewilderment. Clothes hanging from lamp shades, toys thrown all over, cupboards open, drawers hanging out, pots and pans littered the usually immaculate kitchen floor. There in the middle of the mess with flour from head to toe were his two girls clutching each other and laughing like wild hyenas.
When we were calmed down, my daughter and I played a new game called “Tidy Up Time.”
That is one of the joys of trying to teach your children to put things away. Sometimes it may not be something of theirs, and sometimes they may not recall where they put it. But remember, It is Always in the Last Place you look.
About the Author
Melanie Bremner is a mother of three who has written and published several children’s stories, taught Sunday school, and graduated from business school, with a minor in psychology.
She is presently running and maintaining an online retail children’s shop, and produces a bi-weekly newsletter full of stories, facts and fun for the whole family. If you would be interested in receiving tips on various topics of raising children, you can sign up for her newsletter at http://bargainbin4kids.com/
Sunday, April 22, 2007
A day in the life of a 35 year old mother of three.
It is 7am. I have a 6 week old crying to be fed, a 14year old not getting ready for school because he is too tired from playing his playstation until 3am, and a 17yr old who can't find anything appropriate to wear for her political debate in the school gymnasium that day.
Hours of sleep last night for mom?
3.
Level of patience?
2
One thing I have learned is how to feed the baby at the same time I am doing other things. I have the baby locked in one arm, shirt half pulled up enough so he can nurse, I am putting the kettle on with the other arm,and yelling orders to the other children as I try to mentally take stock of the days chores.
Any of this sound familiar to you? Any mother of more than one child has lived a day probably pretty much the same as this one.
How do we cope?
How do we maintain our composure when every ounce of our being is crying out for relief?
Can I make it through another day without losing anymore of my precious sanity?
But then your children do something that makes you remember why you started this whole family thing.
Your 17 year old daughter takes the time to make you a tea, as she has made one for herself. She has made it perfect, just the way you like it. She smiles, and kisses your cheek as she puts it on the coffeetable in front of you.
Your son passes by and shares a bite of his toast and peanut butter with you before he heads out the door to the school bus.
Kisses and hugs, and "I love you Mommy! You're the best!" As they both head out the door for their own day of learning and experience.
A smile crosses your tired, wrinkled face. The world is right again. Energy has been restored. You are once again proud to be a MOM.
It is the little things in life we need to hold on to. In today's society we get bogged down by so much other junk, we forget to keep our minds and hearts on what really matters.
We must make that effort every day to remind ourselves of why we are where we are and what we can be thankful for. Keeping a positive attitude is so crucial to maintaining a healthy, balanced life. But it is worth the effort. Nothing is ever totally inconceivable even if it may appear to be so.
This is my inspirational thought to share with you for the day.
It is 7am. I have a 6 week old crying to be fed, a 14year old not getting ready for school because he is too tired from playing his playstation until 3am, and a 17yr old who can't find anything appropriate to wear for her political debate in the school gymnasium that day.
Hours of sleep last night for mom?
3.
Level of patience?
2
One thing I have learned is how to feed the baby at the same time I am doing other things. I have the baby locked in one arm, shirt half pulled up enough so he can nurse, I am putting the kettle on with the other arm,and yelling orders to the other children as I try to mentally take stock of the days chores.
Any of this sound familiar to you? Any mother of more than one child has lived a day probably pretty much the same as this one.
How do we cope?
How do we maintain our composure when every ounce of our being is crying out for relief?
Can I make it through another day without losing anymore of my precious sanity?
But then your children do something that makes you remember why you started this whole family thing.
Your 17 year old daughter takes the time to make you a tea, as she has made one for herself. She has made it perfect, just the way you like it. She smiles, and kisses your cheek as she puts it on the coffeetable in front of you.
Your son passes by and shares a bite of his toast and peanut butter with you before he heads out the door to the school bus.
Kisses and hugs, and "I love you Mommy! You're the best!" As they both head out the door for their own day of learning and experience.
A smile crosses your tired, wrinkled face. The world is right again. Energy has been restored. You are once again proud to be a MOM.
It is the little things in life we need to hold on to. In today's society we get bogged down by so much other junk, we forget to keep our minds and hearts on what really matters.
We must make that effort every day to remind ourselves of why we are where we are and what we can be thankful for. Keeping a positive attitude is so crucial to maintaining a healthy, balanced life. But it is worth the effort. Nothing is ever totally inconceivable even if it may appear to be so.
This is my inspirational thought to share with you for the day.
Friday, November 17, 2006
Hey there. I have been pretty busy and away for a long time. I know some of you probably stopped coming by to visit me because I have been missing in action.
I got married on August 12 this year and found out I was pregnant 2 days later.
So I am now 5 months pregnant next week. I have gone through the morning sickness.
The hormonal ups and downs, and everything else that is associated with pregnancy. My baby is 14 years old so it is almost like this is all new since it has been so long now.
I have been establishing myself, creating a niche in the business world. I think I finally know what I want to be when "I grow up".
I went from trying to lose weight and feeling good about myself to gaining weight for a good cause(which somehow doesn't appease all senses), but helps with the overall self esteem.
I came across an article which I thought was pretty helpful when getting by.
I would like to share it with you.
Living a life of "Frustrated Potentiality"?
Copyright 2006 Doreen Banaszak
Frustrated Potentiality...
I wish I had this phrase 5 years ago when I was sitting at
my desk, wanting to bang my head on it, thinking how much
more I could be doing if I wasn't working 60 hours a week
at a job that wasn't meaningful to me. At least I would
have had a phrase to explain exactly what I was feeling!
How does "frustrated potentiality" feel to you? What images
does it conjure up for you?
When I came across this phrase the other day it
immediately reminded me of a famous quote, that talks about
people leading "lives of quiet desperation", but with one
big difference...
"Desperation" lacks hope, "frustration" indicates a
willingness to do something, if you can get past the
frustration.
If you've ever felt this and are like I was, you simply
plow forward and focus on changing your circumstances.
But what usually happens when we follow this course? We
get what we think we want and then we want more, so yet
again we are back in our state of "frustrated potentiality".
So if changing circumstances doesn’t help, what will?
Learning how to "create" your experience is the key to
getting beyond frustration and into flow.
Let's take your career for example. If you always wanted
to do meaningful work, but felt as though you couldn't make
money doing it, you will always experience "frustrated
potentiality" until you actually do work that is meaningful.
Ok, now you know why you are frustrated...
So, where are you feeling "frustrated potentiality"?
Ask yourself this question regarding any area of your life,
your relationships, money, career, family...
Now use these 4 steps to turn your frustrated potentiality
into unlimited potentiality...
Step One, Get HONEST!
Ask yourself what you really want in this area. Let's go
back to the career example. What you really want here is
to make money doing meaningful work. That's it, plain and
simple. The trick here is to be completely honest. If
you're not, you will remain frustrated even though you say
you think you know what you want.
Step Two, Define What You Mean
Now ask yourself, what does "meaningful work" mean to me?
What would I be doing? Who would I be doing it with? Do I
like to work independently or with a group? What have I
always felt was important? What ideas have I had in the
past around the idea of meaningful work? How much money do
I WANT to make?
DO NOT THINK ABOUT HOW YOU WILL DO THIS! If you do, I
guarantee you will not get to step 3.
Take a moment and just start asking. Let the flow carry
you to the next question. What you'll end up with is an
idea of how this might actually be a possibility for you.
Step Three, Create a Vision for Yourself
Now create a vision of you doing what you've defined.
Picture yourself doing the work and collecting the check.
Why is this so important? Because until you can feel that
this is a real possibility for you, you won't have the
ideas and thoughts that will create the opportunities to
make it happen. If you are not positive about this, you
may as well stop now.
Step Four, Look for it!
I had a client who got to this level of detail and found a
job description that matched exactly what she had defined
for herself.
Another client took his definition on a job interview and
asked exactly for what he had defined and got it.
Many entrepreneurs have used this to define their ideal
client and they seemingly appeared out of nowhere.
So a life of "frustrated potentiality" or one of "unlimited
potentiality".
It's your choice, now that you have the these 4 steps!
----------------------------------------------------
Doreen Banaszak is a coach, teacher and the author of the
upcoming book, due for release Spring 2007, "Excuse Me,
Your Life Is Now", the follow-up to Lynn Grabhorn's New
York Times Best Seller, "Excuse Me, Your Life Is Waiting".
Register for Doreen's free mini-course, "Access Your
Power", 4 Steps to Deliberately Create Any Experience You
Want" at
http://www.your-life-is-now.com
I got married on August 12 this year and found out I was pregnant 2 days later.
So I am now 5 months pregnant next week. I have gone through the morning sickness.
The hormonal ups and downs, and everything else that is associated with pregnancy. My baby is 14 years old so it is almost like this is all new since it has been so long now.
I have been establishing myself, creating a niche in the business world. I think I finally know what I want to be when "I grow up".
I went from trying to lose weight and feeling good about myself to gaining weight for a good cause(which somehow doesn't appease all senses), but helps with the overall self esteem.
I came across an article which I thought was pretty helpful when getting by.
I would like to share it with you.
Living a life of "Frustrated Potentiality"?
Copyright 2006 Doreen Banaszak
Frustrated Potentiality...
I wish I had this phrase 5 years ago when I was sitting at
my desk, wanting to bang my head on it, thinking how much
more I could be doing if I wasn't working 60 hours a week
at a job that wasn't meaningful to me. At least I would
have had a phrase to explain exactly what I was feeling!
How does "frustrated potentiality" feel to you? What images
does it conjure up for you?
When I came across this phrase the other day it
immediately reminded me of a famous quote, that talks about
people leading "lives of quiet desperation", but with one
big difference...
"Desperation" lacks hope, "frustration" indicates a
willingness to do something, if you can get past the
frustration.
If you've ever felt this and are like I was, you simply
plow forward and focus on changing your circumstances.
But what usually happens when we follow this course? We
get what we think we want and then we want more, so yet
again we are back in our state of "frustrated potentiality".
So if changing circumstances doesn’t help, what will?
Learning how to "create" your experience is the key to
getting beyond frustration and into flow.
Let's take your career for example. If you always wanted
to do meaningful work, but felt as though you couldn't make
money doing it, you will always experience "frustrated
potentiality" until you actually do work that is meaningful.
Ok, now you know why you are frustrated...
So, where are you feeling "frustrated potentiality"?
Ask yourself this question regarding any area of your life,
your relationships, money, career, family...
Now use these 4 steps to turn your frustrated potentiality
into unlimited potentiality...
Step One, Get HONEST!
Ask yourself what you really want in this area. Let's go
back to the career example. What you really want here is
to make money doing meaningful work. That's it, plain and
simple. The trick here is to be completely honest. If
you're not, you will remain frustrated even though you say
you think you know what you want.
Step Two, Define What You Mean
Now ask yourself, what does "meaningful work" mean to me?
What would I be doing? Who would I be doing it with? Do I
like to work independently or with a group? What have I
always felt was important? What ideas have I had in the
past around the idea of meaningful work? How much money do
I WANT to make?
DO NOT THINK ABOUT HOW YOU WILL DO THIS! If you do, I
guarantee you will not get to step 3.
Take a moment and just start asking. Let the flow carry
you to the next question. What you'll end up with is an
idea of how this might actually be a possibility for you.
Step Three, Create a Vision for Yourself
Now create a vision of you doing what you've defined.
Picture yourself doing the work and collecting the check.
Why is this so important? Because until you can feel that
this is a real possibility for you, you won't have the
ideas and thoughts that will create the opportunities to
make it happen. If you are not positive about this, you
may as well stop now.
Step Four, Look for it!
I had a client who got to this level of detail and found a
job description that matched exactly what she had defined
for herself.
Another client took his definition on a job interview and
asked exactly for what he had defined and got it.
Many entrepreneurs have used this to define their ideal
client and they seemingly appeared out of nowhere.
So a life of "frustrated potentiality" or one of "unlimited
potentiality".
It's your choice, now that you have the these 4 steps!
----------------------------------------------------
Doreen Banaszak is a coach, teacher and the author of the
upcoming book, due for release Spring 2007, "Excuse Me,
Your Life Is Now", the follow-up to Lynn Grabhorn's New
York Times Best Seller, "Excuse Me, Your Life Is Waiting".
Register for Doreen's free mini-course, "Access Your
Power", 4 Steps to Deliberately Create Any Experience You
Want" at
http://www.your-life-is-now.com
Monday, March 13, 2006
I recently have changed my lifestyle and thinking process. I have had a bit of a hard time avoiding certain mistakes repeatedly. But I decided to embark on a journey for enlightenment the last few years and have come to realize my attitude has been all wrong.
The following article I found to be a good read. Hopefully it will give you some insight into a new way of thinking to maximize your full potential.
How Are Your Choices Forming Patterns and Perspectives In Your Life?
Copyright 2006 Awakenings Life Coaching by Kathryn Bonner
The way you view life is vital, it is the key to the
method, the way you understand and experience life. There
are those who find life to be wonderful, breathtaking,
magnificent, amazing, joyful, miraculous, adventurous, and
there are those who don’t.
I find it to be quite amazing how some people truly do live
life out of the thoughts or feelings of lack. I hear them
complain and be negative in most areas of their living, and
don’t realize that they are their own worst enemy!
I know a woman who grew up with polio and had eighteen
surgeries growing up. She was in a brace or a cast all the
way up to her hips, limiting her movement for much of her
life. She could not do the things other children and young
adults could do! I never knew her as a child with this
disease. I’ve only know her as an adult and knowing her
now, and I know of her magnificence! She says and believes
that her polio was a gift! There are many who may have
taken these very circumstances and taken on the opposite
view. She could have ended up a very bitter woman, and we
as a society would have thought she had the right to be
because of her polio.
We have been given the freedom of thought, the freedom of
choice, the freedom to believe, the capacity to be
thinking, feeling human beings! Wow! What freedoms we
have! What a beautiful thing this freedom of thought is
and how powerful it is!
What are you doing with your mind? What way are you
choosing to live your life? What thoughts, what
disposition to you want or do you long for?
This journey of life is exactly that, a journey. Much of
this journey is made up of our thoughts. Thoughts about
ourselves and about others and thoughts about what others
think of us! It can get very heavy or it can be beautiful
thoughts of others!
When someone thinks highly of you, you know it! When
someone thinks poorly of you, you know it! You feel great
around those that think well of you, and you feel awkward
and unsure, less confident around those that don’t. It’s
amazing what thoughts do and how they can be felt! You can
feel them in your body!
In my journey I have always tried to see everyone in a
positive light, and be a positive light to those I
encounter. It’s my choice to see and experience beauty
fully. It is my choice to enjoy each and every human being
I encounter, no matter how different they might be. I am
able to discover and uncover the beauty within them. This
is my choice to do so and I find it to serve me well. I
find it to bring much beauty and joy to my life.
There have been times when people have surfaced in my life
for one reason or another that I did not want there. There
is a particular woman who seemed to be always there, I
didn’t like her hardness. Her viewpoint on life was very
different from mine. We were complete opposites in our
thinking. Yet, both of us were deep thinkers, both of us
held deep convictions within our very souls. Both of us
took God very seriously and yet very differently! She was
brought into my life to strengthen my faith at a time when
my faith was faltering. She was the only one who saw that
my faith was faltering because she knew exactly what it was
to have faltering faith! When my dearest friends didn’t
see it, she did! She knew life on a different level than
I. She brought life to me on a different level. She
expanded my mind, and I became one of compassion for her!
It is amazing this life! When I finally made the choice to
allow her into my life, I believe God used her to
strengthen my faith at a time when I needed it!
Choices are amazing. We have to make so many every day!
With every choice there is a consequence. With good
choices we experience good or great consequences. With bad
choices we experience bad or horrible consequences. We
become attuned to these outcomes, or we don’t.
I would encourage you to begin really thinking, examining
the choices you make and why you make them. They form
these amazing patterns in your life!
I have always taught my daughters this and used the dating
scenarios with them. I felt that it was tremendously
important for them to view the young men they were allowing
into their young lives in total truth. (Think about
viewing one in total truth, for that matter think about
viewing yourself in total truth). I would remind the girls
that certain behaviors, if they allowed them, or merely
accepted them, that they were in the process of allowing
certain types of behavior become acceptable. Letting them
know that patterns were being formed in their young lives.
Making them aware if they were living unconsciously (sleep
walking through life), or consciously (awakening) in their
relationships was HUGE! I never wanted them to be living
their lives unconsciously!
So many of us can sleep walk through life allowing
unbecoming behaviors to become a part of our lives! This
therefore sets the patterns up and sets the stage of your
life!
Think about the patterns you have in your life, what are
you compromising on? What are you settling for? Why?
Raise your echelon of accepted wisdom! What kind of role
model are you being for your children, for your co-workers,
your employees? What leadership role are you in? Where to
you want to change? What is working for you? What isn’t?
How to you want to experience this life!?
The thing I love about life it that we can always choose!
We can choose to break free of thoughts and behaviors that
no longer serve the right purpose for us! We can allow
ourselves to be transformed and awakened! We can
recognize this life is a journey with many paths and can
choose to stay on the road we are on or we can take the
fork in the road that will lead us to places known and
unknown making good and right choices along the way!
Here’s to living fully and being fully awakened!
Kathryn
----------------------------------------------------
Kathryn Bonner is a Professional, Personal, Executive and
Spiritual Life Coach trained through CTI, The Coaches
Training Institute. View her website at
http://www.AwakeningsLifeCoaching.com Email:
AwakeningsLifeCoaching@cox.net Office: 512-260-7775 Toll
Free: 866-469-8800
Using this article will allow you one pro bono coaching
session over the phone! This aids us both in deciding if
we should partner together. If you are ready for growth,
desire to become a great leader in the work place, want to
be stretched, long for renewal, grace and a fuller life,
give coaching a shot and experience the ability to truly
accomplish your dreams and goals. I would be honored to aid
you in your journey, living the God given dreams you have!
Please visit my site for all your business and personal needs.
K.D.B Business Services
word processing/proofreading, desktop publishing, bookkeeping, fax service, and computer lessons
http://kdbbusinessservices.com
children's storyebooks, poetry,various ebook topics by demand
The following article I found to be a good read. Hopefully it will give you some insight into a new way of thinking to maximize your full potential.
How Are Your Choices Forming Patterns and Perspectives In Your Life?
Copyright 2006 Awakenings Life Coaching by Kathryn Bonner
The way you view life is vital, it is the key to the
method, the way you understand and experience life. There
are those who find life to be wonderful, breathtaking,
magnificent, amazing, joyful, miraculous, adventurous, and
there are those who don’t.
I find it to be quite amazing how some people truly do live
life out of the thoughts or feelings of lack. I hear them
complain and be negative in most areas of their living, and
don’t realize that they are their own worst enemy!
I know a woman who grew up with polio and had eighteen
surgeries growing up. She was in a brace or a cast all the
way up to her hips, limiting her movement for much of her
life. She could not do the things other children and young
adults could do! I never knew her as a child with this
disease. I’ve only know her as an adult and knowing her
now, and I know of her magnificence! She says and believes
that her polio was a gift! There are many who may have
taken these very circumstances and taken on the opposite
view. She could have ended up a very bitter woman, and we
as a society would have thought she had the right to be
because of her polio.
We have been given the freedom of thought, the freedom of
choice, the freedom to believe, the capacity to be
thinking, feeling human beings! Wow! What freedoms we
have! What a beautiful thing this freedom of thought is
and how powerful it is!
What are you doing with your mind? What way are you
choosing to live your life? What thoughts, what
disposition to you want or do you long for?
This journey of life is exactly that, a journey. Much of
this journey is made up of our thoughts. Thoughts about
ourselves and about others and thoughts about what others
think of us! It can get very heavy or it can be beautiful
thoughts of others!
When someone thinks highly of you, you know it! When
someone thinks poorly of you, you know it! You feel great
around those that think well of you, and you feel awkward
and unsure, less confident around those that don’t. It’s
amazing what thoughts do and how they can be felt! You can
feel them in your body!
In my journey I have always tried to see everyone in a
positive light, and be a positive light to those I
encounter. It’s my choice to see and experience beauty
fully. It is my choice to enjoy each and every human being
I encounter, no matter how different they might be. I am
able to discover and uncover the beauty within them. This
is my choice to do so and I find it to serve me well. I
find it to bring much beauty and joy to my life.
There have been times when people have surfaced in my life
for one reason or another that I did not want there. There
is a particular woman who seemed to be always there, I
didn’t like her hardness. Her viewpoint on life was very
different from mine. We were complete opposites in our
thinking. Yet, both of us were deep thinkers, both of us
held deep convictions within our very souls. Both of us
took God very seriously and yet very differently! She was
brought into my life to strengthen my faith at a time when
my faith was faltering. She was the only one who saw that
my faith was faltering because she knew exactly what it was
to have faltering faith! When my dearest friends didn’t
see it, she did! She knew life on a different level than
I. She brought life to me on a different level. She
expanded my mind, and I became one of compassion for her!
It is amazing this life! When I finally made the choice to
allow her into my life, I believe God used her to
strengthen my faith at a time when I needed it!
Choices are amazing. We have to make so many every day!
With every choice there is a consequence. With good
choices we experience good or great consequences. With bad
choices we experience bad or horrible consequences. We
become attuned to these outcomes, or we don’t.
I would encourage you to begin really thinking, examining
the choices you make and why you make them. They form
these amazing patterns in your life!
I have always taught my daughters this and used the dating
scenarios with them. I felt that it was tremendously
important for them to view the young men they were allowing
into their young lives in total truth. (Think about
viewing one in total truth, for that matter think about
viewing yourself in total truth). I would remind the girls
that certain behaviors, if they allowed them, or merely
accepted them, that they were in the process of allowing
certain types of behavior become acceptable. Letting them
know that patterns were being formed in their young lives.
Making them aware if they were living unconsciously (sleep
walking through life), or consciously (awakening) in their
relationships was HUGE! I never wanted them to be living
their lives unconsciously!
So many of us can sleep walk through life allowing
unbecoming behaviors to become a part of our lives! This
therefore sets the patterns up and sets the stage of your
life!
Think about the patterns you have in your life, what are
you compromising on? What are you settling for? Why?
Raise your echelon of accepted wisdom! What kind of role
model are you being for your children, for your co-workers,
your employees? What leadership role are you in? Where to
you want to change? What is working for you? What isn’t?
How to you want to experience this life!?
The thing I love about life it that we can always choose!
We can choose to break free of thoughts and behaviors that
no longer serve the right purpose for us! We can allow
ourselves to be transformed and awakened! We can
recognize this life is a journey with many paths and can
choose to stay on the road we are on or we can take the
fork in the road that will lead us to places known and
unknown making good and right choices along the way!
Here’s to living fully and being fully awakened!
Kathryn
----------------------------------------------------
Kathryn Bonner is a Professional, Personal, Executive and
Spiritual Life Coach trained through CTI, The Coaches
Training Institute. View her website at
http://www.AwakeningsLifeCoaching.com Email:
AwakeningsLifeCoaching@cox.net Office: 512-260-7775 Toll
Free: 866-469-8800
Using this article will allow you one pro bono coaching
session over the phone! This aids us both in deciding if
we should partner together. If you are ready for growth,
desire to become a great leader in the work place, want to
be stretched, long for renewal, grace and a fuller life,
give coaching a shot and experience the ability to truly
accomplish your dreams and goals. I would be honored to aid
you in your journey, living the God given dreams you have!
Please visit my site for all your business and personal needs.
K.D.B Business Services
word processing/proofreading, desktop publishing, bookkeeping, fax service, and computer lessons
http://kdbbusinessservices.com
children's storyebooks, poetry,various ebook topics by demand
Monday, February 06, 2006
Oh my Goodness! I am so sorry to all my faithful viewers for my absence. I have been very busy and didn't even realize that it has been almost 2 months since I was on here!
But things are on a roll for me now. I am getting married in August and have had a tons of things to plan for that. I am excited! Being in love changes your perspective on life though, I can tell you that. I have been revived and the words are finding their way to the pages again. I have had writers block for some time now and have not been feeling quite myself due to that. I wrote my first poem the other night for the first time in 2 and a half years.
For someone like me who has always used the pen and paper as a way of expressing myself it has been pure torture for me not to be able to write any emotions out. I felt dead and disassociated with all people and circumstances around me. I felt I was lost in a void with no hope for seeing the light. Then I found a very special man. He had been there all along as a dear friend but I had never thought he may be what my soul craved....until that fateful day when I needed him most and he was there. Funny how life works.
Now everything seems to be all piecing together. My business plans are taking off and apparently working out. Still alot to do but for the first time in 6 years since the plan was conceived it is looking like it may just go somewhere.
My ex husband has even managed to astonish me!!! I had the divorce papers sent over and called to make sure he signed them and sent then back since it takes 4 months to finalize. He congratulated me and gave me his blessings! Now anyone knowing my ex would know he just doesn't do that kind of thing. He is a well known jerk and even admits it himself. I feel like I have a whole new chance to do and live the life I wanted to and should have the first time around 17 years ago.
I know alot of you may not care about this, or even wonder why I am telling you my business. I just wanted to let you know that if you allow yourselves to be who you are and truly meant to be regardless of society you can find true happiness and expression. You may have to endure some hardships, even ones that may feel like they will be the death of you, but this is the time to delve into your inner resources and strengthen the character you are capable of being. With that you can acheive anything life throws at you. Write it all down!!! Share it with others. I am so tired of hearing sad and pathetic stories on the news and talk shows. Why is everyone so eager to share their misery but no one ever spreads the joy?
The only joy you seem to see is when someone wins the lottery. That's not true joy. True joy is when a passion is experienced that enriches your life in a meaningful way. Something that has an impact on you and others around with a lifelong impression that causes you to change your way of thinking for the better.
I will leave you with that thought. I hope I have encouraged you to ponder upon your own existence and per chance wonder if you may not be living up to your full potential. To all those out there who would love peace of mind and peace on earth, take care and good will! Never forget who you are and what you stand for! Never let anyone try to dash your hopes and dreams! Remember all those remembered and revered are the ones who always persisted and continued with their passions regardless of anyone elses' opinions! It is what separates the great from the average. Don't settle for average! We were destined for great things! You must believe!
Until next time my friends! Take care!
Knock Their Socks Off! A Freelance Writer's Guide to Query Letters That Sell
Make money 15 minutes from right NOW! 100% Automated System - Affiliate Cash Vault!
But things are on a roll for me now. I am getting married in August and have had a tons of things to plan for that. I am excited! Being in love changes your perspective on life though, I can tell you that. I have been revived and the words are finding their way to the pages again. I have had writers block for some time now and have not been feeling quite myself due to that. I wrote my first poem the other night for the first time in 2 and a half years.
For someone like me who has always used the pen and paper as a way of expressing myself it has been pure torture for me not to be able to write any emotions out. I felt dead and disassociated with all people and circumstances around me. I felt I was lost in a void with no hope for seeing the light. Then I found a very special man. He had been there all along as a dear friend but I had never thought he may be what my soul craved....until that fateful day when I needed him most and he was there. Funny how life works.
Now everything seems to be all piecing together. My business plans are taking off and apparently working out. Still alot to do but for the first time in 6 years since the plan was conceived it is looking like it may just go somewhere.
My ex husband has even managed to astonish me!!! I had the divorce papers sent over and called to make sure he signed them and sent then back since it takes 4 months to finalize. He congratulated me and gave me his blessings! Now anyone knowing my ex would know he just doesn't do that kind of thing. He is a well known jerk and even admits it himself. I feel like I have a whole new chance to do and live the life I wanted to and should have the first time around 17 years ago.
I know alot of you may not care about this, or even wonder why I am telling you my business. I just wanted to let you know that if you allow yourselves to be who you are and truly meant to be regardless of society you can find true happiness and expression. You may have to endure some hardships, even ones that may feel like they will be the death of you, but this is the time to delve into your inner resources and strengthen the character you are capable of being. With that you can acheive anything life throws at you. Write it all down!!! Share it with others. I am so tired of hearing sad and pathetic stories on the news and talk shows. Why is everyone so eager to share their misery but no one ever spreads the joy?
The only joy you seem to see is when someone wins the lottery. That's not true joy. True joy is when a passion is experienced that enriches your life in a meaningful way. Something that has an impact on you and others around with a lifelong impression that causes you to change your way of thinking for the better.
I will leave you with that thought. I hope I have encouraged you to ponder upon your own existence and per chance wonder if you may not be living up to your full potential. To all those out there who would love peace of mind and peace on earth, take care and good will! Never forget who you are and what you stand for! Never let anyone try to dash your hopes and dreams! Remember all those remembered and revered are the ones who always persisted and continued with their passions regardless of anyone elses' opinions! It is what separates the great from the average. Don't settle for average! We were destined for great things! You must believe!
Until next time my friends! Take care!
Knock Their Socks Off! A Freelance Writer's Guide to Query Letters That Sell
Make money 15 minutes from right NOW! 100% Automated System - Affiliate Cash Vault!
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Tuesday, December 06, 2005
So I have been living my dreams and keeping my vision alive of becoming known as an author for children's stories. I am feeling so good these days even though I am still yet to sell more than one book. I know it is a process and it will take some time but I am moving forward even if it is only one baby step at a time. Since I have carried this dream for 25 years as I have untiringly plugged away at story after story and idea upon idea(whether still in the making or not), I am not about to give up. I had my first piece published when I was only a child and the fire has never died. My passion for writing has kept me sane through all the bad times when I have been tempted to give up and stop caring. It has been my anchor to keep me rooted in humanity when the world threatened to change me for the worse.
The following article provides a few helpful tips on tapping into your dreams and learning how to be a true visionary.
Become A Visionary – Tapping Into The Artist In You
Copyright 2005 So-lu'shunz Management Services
Purpose is what you’re created for. Mission is what you’re
meant to do about it. Visions are the evidence.
We are all visionaries.
Anyone who has ever dreamed of a better way or a bigger
brighter future on a broader plain is a visionary. If you
see a more vibrant life in you than you are living, you’re
a visionary.
America is founded on our ability and our right to dream
and then bring those dreams to pass. We’re all seeking the
American Dream and it’s not a prescribed vision but assumes
that each one of us is able to dream his or her own future.
America was founded to cradle those dreams.
Visionary is a title we’re a bit threatened by, because it
is so often ascribed to the celebrated among us, such
greats as Martin Luther King, Albert Einstein, Golda Meir,
George Washington Carver. And others with a different kind
of vision such as Walt Disney.
Some visionaries are so well known we no longer need their
first names to identify them, Edison, Bell, Gandhi,
Pasteur, Jefferson, Franklin. But to be threatened by
their greatness is to deny the greatness in you. Your name
need not become a household word in your lifetime for you
to be a great visionary. You need only to gain the tools
to insure that each dream manifests in a better reality
Vision is the ability to see what others are not (yet) able
to see; to create within oneself a new and better, bigger,
brighter reality. It is thinking outside and beyond and
above the norm. It is refusing to be harnessed or halted
by convention or opposition, distraction or disappointment.
Any inability of the visionary becomes inconsequential to
the need for the vision to come to pass. It requires a
great deal of faith and an equal degree of discomfort with
the status quo.
A visionary is one who has learned the art of creating
visions and who is then so filled with his dream that he
cannot help but bring it to pass. We can all learn the art
of creating visions, of directing our dreams to a
purposeful end.
Visionaries are fearless - they will face embarrassment,
derision and mockery. They are much like a woman in the
final stages of labor – the child must be born, regardless
of the circumstances. The process takes on a momentum all
its own and the visionary becomes accountable to the vision
and to facilitating its “delivery.”
Have you ever felt so pregnant with a dream that you were
certain you would burst if it was not delivered into the
world? Then you are a visionary. Now what can you do to
facilitate the process? (See Birthing Your Dream available
at www.solushunz.com, Resource Articles)
Perhaps you’re thinking you don’t have world changing,
revolutionary dreams, so this couldn’t possibly apply to
you. But any vision, of any size, nurtured and directed,
once realized will impact your world and deserves a chance
to grow and transform – that’s what visions do.
The difference between a dreamer and a visionary is the
determination to bring the vision to pass. A dreamer is no
less creative, but is far less dedicated to the
transformation of the vision into reality.
A dreamer dreams to avoid reality. A visionary dreams to
change it.
Can we learn to dream creatively and with direction, or is
this a gift born into a select few? The good news is that
anyone can learn the skills necessary to create
well-developed visions, utilizing the unique gifts and
talents we each possess, and utilizing the resources at
hand, bring them into the real world, fully formed and
ready to. This is a skill none of us can afford to ignore,
if we are dedicated to a better reality for ourselves and
those around us.
----------------------------------------------------
Karin is a certified Life Coach, consultant and trainer
specializing in the EffectivenessCoaching process. She has
helped leaders at all levels to increase their personal and
professional effectiveness by guiding them through the
process of learning to do less and be more. To sooth
holiday stress, visit Karin’s website at
http://www.solushunz.com
Want Your Own Home Business!Click here
Find the Perfect Holiday Gift at Amazon.com Gift Central
Alternative Health & Beauty Store
Be kind to your body, Be kind to earth.
Vegetarian, Chemical free, Additive free, All natural.
Lung Cancer
The following article provides a few helpful tips on tapping into your dreams and learning how to be a true visionary.
Become A Visionary – Tapping Into The Artist In You
Copyright 2005 So-lu'shunz Management Services
Purpose is what you’re created for. Mission is what you’re
meant to do about it. Visions are the evidence.
We are all visionaries.
Anyone who has ever dreamed of a better way or a bigger
brighter future on a broader plain is a visionary. If you
see a more vibrant life in you than you are living, you’re
a visionary.
America is founded on our ability and our right to dream
and then bring those dreams to pass. We’re all seeking the
American Dream and it’s not a prescribed vision but assumes
that each one of us is able to dream his or her own future.
America was founded to cradle those dreams.
Visionary is a title we’re a bit threatened by, because it
is so often ascribed to the celebrated among us, such
greats as Martin Luther King, Albert Einstein, Golda Meir,
George Washington Carver. And others with a different kind
of vision such as Walt Disney.
Some visionaries are so well known we no longer need their
first names to identify them, Edison, Bell, Gandhi,
Pasteur, Jefferson, Franklin. But to be threatened by
their greatness is to deny the greatness in you. Your name
need not become a household word in your lifetime for you
to be a great visionary. You need only to gain the tools
to insure that each dream manifests in a better reality
Vision is the ability to see what others are not (yet) able
to see; to create within oneself a new and better, bigger,
brighter reality. It is thinking outside and beyond and
above the norm. It is refusing to be harnessed or halted
by convention or opposition, distraction or disappointment.
Any inability of the visionary becomes inconsequential to
the need for the vision to come to pass. It requires a
great deal of faith and an equal degree of discomfort with
the status quo.
A visionary is one who has learned the art of creating
visions and who is then so filled with his dream that he
cannot help but bring it to pass. We can all learn the art
of creating visions, of directing our dreams to a
purposeful end.
Visionaries are fearless - they will face embarrassment,
derision and mockery. They are much like a woman in the
final stages of labor – the child must be born, regardless
of the circumstances. The process takes on a momentum all
its own and the visionary becomes accountable to the vision
and to facilitating its “delivery.”
Have you ever felt so pregnant with a dream that you were
certain you would burst if it was not delivered into the
world? Then you are a visionary. Now what can you do to
facilitate the process? (See Birthing Your Dream available
at www.solushunz.com, Resource Articles)
Perhaps you’re thinking you don’t have world changing,
revolutionary dreams, so this couldn’t possibly apply to
you. But any vision, of any size, nurtured and directed,
once realized will impact your world and deserves a chance
to grow and transform – that’s what visions do.
The difference between a dreamer and a visionary is the
determination to bring the vision to pass. A dreamer is no
less creative, but is far less dedicated to the
transformation of the vision into reality.
A dreamer dreams to avoid reality. A visionary dreams to
change it.
Can we learn to dream creatively and with direction, or is
this a gift born into a select few? The good news is that
anyone can learn the skills necessary to create
well-developed visions, utilizing the unique gifts and
talents we each possess, and utilizing the resources at
hand, bring them into the real world, fully formed and
ready to. This is a skill none of us can afford to ignore,
if we are dedicated to a better reality for ourselves and
those around us.
----------------------------------------------------
Karin is a certified Life Coach, consultant and trainer
specializing in the EffectivenessCoaching process. She has
helped leaders at all levels to increase their personal and
professional effectiveness by guiding them through the
process of learning to do less and be more. To sooth
holiday stress, visit Karin’s website at
http://www.solushunz.com
Want Your Own Home Business!Click here
Find the Perfect Holiday Gift at Amazon.com Gift Central
Alternative Health & Beauty Store
Be kind to your body, Be kind to earth.
Vegetarian, Chemical free, Additive free, All natural.
Lung Cancer
Monday, November 28, 2005
I am just so excited that I am posting it on all my blogs! I have got my website up and running and am eagerly awaiting all customers. There are several categories for ebooks and my own writings are published as ebooks or hard copy according to your preference. I am posting new books every day and hope you will pay me a visit regularly. Please tell all your friends and family. You can visit me at http://onestopebookshop.ca
After all the work I have been doing setting up my site, marketing strtaegies, working my day job taking orders for Sears, looking for a new apartment, looking for a new job since it will be in a new city, organizing and packing, and all the day to day duties I am feeling the need to go on vacation.
I read this article and thought it was the perfect solution for my situation. Talk to ya later! I'm off to the spa!
How to Get Away From It All Without Going Anywhere
Copyright 2005 Vivian Banta
So many people when they have returned from taking a trip
say, "I need a vacation from my vacation." This usually
occurs if there is a lot of travel involved in the holiday
or if people have over-scheduled their activities to take
advantage of the wealth of tourist attractions at their
destination. So, apart from reinstating your healthy
eating and sleeping habits, how do you get some rest,
relaxation and enjoyment when the œ"vacation" is over or
too far into the future?
Here are five great tips to on how to get away from it all
without going anywhere:
Mini-spa experience
Just because it isn't summer doesn't mean that you can't
pamper yourself. Whether you make an appointment for a
free makeover, schedule a massage or manicure, or indulge
in some cosmetic goodie or extra, it's a great way to carve
out some time for you. Even taking a shower or bath by the
light and fragrance of aromatherapy candles can be a nice
break from the ordinary.
Read
Remember all those books and magazines you lay aside
thinking you'll have plenty of time to read them when you
go on vacation? Well, why not now? The cooler seasons
bring rainy, cloudy days that many booklovers (me included)
proclaim are ideal reading weather. Just make sure that
you are reading what you want to, not what somebody else
said "you should" read, as this is a surefire trigger for
procrastination.
Bring the exotic into your everyday experience
Part of what we like about going away for vacation is being
able to experience things out of our ordinary, day-to-day
experience. So, who's to say that has be the exclusive
domain of a formal "vacation"? Treat yourself and your
family to a special breakfast on the porch with the fine
china you only use once in a blue moon. Go to a restaurant
that features cuisine you've never tried. Visit a store
that specializes in international wares and pick up a
little something from a foreign locale to add a little bit
of mystique to your normal decor.
Try something new
More often these days, people incorporate learning
experiences into their vacation experiences. So, why not
sign up for a class or workshop? You can tackle personal
development, acquire a new skill, learn some history or
take up a new hobby. Any way you choose to do it, opening
doors to new experiences can also lead to a rejuvenation of
the spirit.
Be a tourist at home
Unless you have played tour guide to an out-of-town
relative or friend, you may not have visited tourist
destinations or historical sites in your own city or
region. Get a visitor's guide from your city and hit the
town. Viewing local attractions alongside tourists can be
an eye-opener and offer you a fresh perspective on the
place you call home. Additionally, If you don't already,
make plans to attend events at your local theater, symphony
or museum. Too many of us will do these things when we are
"out of town" and don't take advantage of the wonderful
arts communities and tourist attractions in our own
communities.
So, if you feel the need to get away from it all, remember
that you don't necessarily need to leave home. Sometimes a
great vacation is right in front of you!
----------------------------------------------------
Vivian Banta (MBA/Coach U CTP Grad) is a life coach who
works with people in pursuit of their passion who want to
fully engage in their lives. Are you ready to plant your
heart in the garden of your dreams? Find out how by
visiting her website at http://gardenofsenses.com or e-mail
her at coach@gardenofsenses.com to schedule a free,
30-minute personal coaching session.
Want Your Own Home Business!Click here
Find the Perfect Holiday Gift at Amazon.com Gift Central
Alternative Health & Beauty Store
Be kind to your body, Be kind to earth.
Vegetarian, Chemical free, Additive free, All natural.
Lung Cancer
After all the work I have been doing setting up my site, marketing strtaegies, working my day job taking orders for Sears, looking for a new apartment, looking for a new job since it will be in a new city, organizing and packing, and all the day to day duties I am feeling the need to go on vacation.
I read this article and thought it was the perfect solution for my situation. Talk to ya later! I'm off to the spa!
How to Get Away From It All Without Going Anywhere
Copyright 2005 Vivian Banta
So many people when they have returned from taking a trip
say, "I need a vacation from my vacation." This usually
occurs if there is a lot of travel involved in the holiday
or if people have over-scheduled their activities to take
advantage of the wealth of tourist attractions at their
destination. So, apart from reinstating your healthy
eating and sleeping habits, how do you get some rest,
relaxation and enjoyment when the œ"vacation" is over or
too far into the future?
Here are five great tips to on how to get away from it all
without going anywhere:
Mini-spa experience
Just because it isn't summer doesn't mean that you can't
pamper yourself. Whether you make an appointment for a
free makeover, schedule a massage or manicure, or indulge
in some cosmetic goodie or extra, it's a great way to carve
out some time for you. Even taking a shower or bath by the
light and fragrance of aromatherapy candles can be a nice
break from the ordinary.
Read
Remember all those books and magazines you lay aside
thinking you'll have plenty of time to read them when you
go on vacation? Well, why not now? The cooler seasons
bring rainy, cloudy days that many booklovers (me included)
proclaim are ideal reading weather. Just make sure that
you are reading what you want to, not what somebody else
said "you should" read, as this is a surefire trigger for
procrastination.
Bring the exotic into your everyday experience
Part of what we like about going away for vacation is being
able to experience things out of our ordinary, day-to-day
experience. So, who's to say that has be the exclusive
domain of a formal "vacation"? Treat yourself and your
family to a special breakfast on the porch with the fine
china you only use once in a blue moon. Go to a restaurant
that features cuisine you've never tried. Visit a store
that specializes in international wares and pick up a
little something from a foreign locale to add a little bit
of mystique to your normal decor.
Try something new
More often these days, people incorporate learning
experiences into their vacation experiences. So, why not
sign up for a class or workshop? You can tackle personal
development, acquire a new skill, learn some history or
take up a new hobby. Any way you choose to do it, opening
doors to new experiences can also lead to a rejuvenation of
the spirit.
Be a tourist at home
Unless you have played tour guide to an out-of-town
relative or friend, you may not have visited tourist
destinations or historical sites in your own city or
region. Get a visitor's guide from your city and hit the
town. Viewing local attractions alongside tourists can be
an eye-opener and offer you a fresh perspective on the
place you call home. Additionally, If you don't already,
make plans to attend events at your local theater, symphony
or museum. Too many of us will do these things when we are
"out of town" and don't take advantage of the wonderful
arts communities and tourist attractions in our own
communities.
So, if you feel the need to get away from it all, remember
that you don't necessarily need to leave home. Sometimes a
great vacation is right in front of you!
----------------------------------------------------
Vivian Banta (MBA/Coach U CTP Grad) is a life coach who
works with people in pursuit of their passion who want to
fully engage in their lives. Are you ready to plant your
heart in the garden of your dreams? Find out how by
visiting her website at http://gardenofsenses.com or e-mail
her at coach@gardenofsenses.com to schedule a free,
30-minute personal coaching session.
Want Your Own Home Business!Click here
Find the Perfect Holiday Gift at Amazon.com Gift Central
Alternative Health & Beauty Store
Be kind to your body, Be kind to earth.
Vegetarian, Chemical free, Additive free, All natural.
Lung Cancer
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
BRRRR. Even as a born and bred Canadian I still hate the winter! It takes an extra ten minutes to get out the door in this season. The only thing I like about it is the fact that because I have tons of pockets on the coat I can skip carrying my purse.
I have been busy and I apologize to my faithful readers that I have missed 8 days. I am moving in a month and have had lots to do since it is a relocation to another city. Plus throw a baby shower in there for my sisterinlaw and there goes two days alone in preparations. It was worth it though. We had a contest where we had to guess the baby food without the labels and I tell you, they didn't have flavours like that for my kids 13 years ago! Yuck! I understand why babies make those faces and spit it out now! Some food is not meant to be mixed and ground up together.
Keeping on the theme of children I would like to introduce the following article to you. I thought it was an amusing yet truthful read.
What 9/11 and a 3-Year-Old Taught Me About Gratitude
Copyright 2005 Tony Mase
One of the most important concepts Wallace D. Wattles wrote
about in his books was gratitude. As a matter of fact, in
the book for which he's best known, "The Science of Getting
Rich", Wallace D. Wattles devoted an entire chapter to
gratitude and used the word gratitude some thirty-two times
throughout the book.
Although I'd been studying "The Science of Getting Rich" by
Wallace D. Wattles for over three years, and made
incredible changes in my life by applying its principles, I
still didn't completely get this gratitude "thing".
I understood the importance of gratitude intellectually
and, at least to some extent, was applying it in my life,
but, and I don't know if this was just a "guy thing" or
what, I didn't feel like I really understood it emotionally
at a deep down, visceral level.
Then it happened...
September 11, 2001...
A day few of us will ever forget.
The one thing I'll always remember most about that fateful
day was my son, who was three years old at the time,
looking at me with his big brown eyes asking me the dreaded
but inevitable...
"Why Daddy?"
For lack of anything better, I gave him the best good guy,
bad guy analogy I could come with at the time and then, for
whatever reason, I ended it with, "as bad as this appears
to be, we have a lot to be thankful for."
Hoping that was that, I quickly began thinking of something
else we could do or talk about to get his mind off the
horror he'd just witnessed on television.
Suddenly, I heard him ask...
"Like what Daddy?"
"Like what, what?" I replied.
"Like what we have to be thankful for?" he asked.
"Great," I thought to myself, "I thought we were done with
this."
"Well," I said, "we can be thankful that you, me and mommy
are okay. A lot of little boys and girls lost their mommies
or daddies today. Some of them lost both."
He thought for a moment and then asked, "What else Daddy?"
"Well," I replied, "we can be thankful that so many people
were able to get out of those buildings alive before they
collapsed."
"What else Daddy?" he asked.
"Well..." I hesitated, desperately trying to think of
something else.
"Come on Daddy," he said, "what else we have to be thankful
for?"
"Well," I said, "we can be thankful for all the brave fire
fighters, paramedics and police officers who are helping
those who need it."
"And the fire fighters have fire trucks with lights and
sirens, huh Daddy?" he asked with a smile on his face.
"Yes son, they do," I replied, returning his smile.
"What else Daddy?" he asked.
"Well son," I said, "we can be thankful that we have a
strong military to protect us."
"And they have tanks, huh Daddy?" he asked, this time with
a really big smile (for whatever reason, he *really* likes
tanks :-)).
"Yes son, they do," I replied, "and they have lots of them."
"What else we have to be thankful for Daddy?" he asked...
As his "grilling" continued (which at the time seemed like
it went on forever :-)), and the list of things we had to
be thankful for grew larger and larger and larger, I could
*feel*, rather dramatically, our thoughts shift from those
of doubt, uncertainty, fear and worry, to those of
certainty and faith.
Finally...
I got it! :-)
You see, all too often, when something's not "right" in our
lives, or something's not the way we'd prefer it to be,
even though it may be only a *tiny* portion of our overall
experience, we tend to focus all our mental energy on it
causing us to lose our perspective and, in the process, we
virtually insure we'll get more of the same... more of what
we *don't* want.
On the other hand...
Gratitude forces us to focus on what's right in our lives,
on the things that are the way we'd prefer them to be,
which, chances are, are the overwhelming majority of our
experience at any given time, causing us to put things in
their proper perspective and thereby virtually insuring
we'll get more of the same... more of what we *do* want!
Since that unforgettable day, I've repeated this simple
exercise dozens of times...
Whenever I feel thoughts of doubt, uncertainty, fear or
worry starting to creep in, I simply ask myself what I have
to be thankful for right *now* and then I keep asking...
What else...
What else...
What else...
It's never failed yet to almost instantly help me regain a
"constructive" perspective and replace those "destructive"
thoughts of doubt, uncertainty, fear and worry with
"constructive" thoughts of certainty and faith.
Thanks son. :-)
----------------------------------------------------
Tony Mase is a serious student of the works of Wallace D.
Wattles and the publisher of "The Science of Abundant Life"
ebook by Wallace D. Wattles...
http://www.thescienceofabundantlife.com
Want Your Own Home Business!Click here
Find the Perfect Holiday Gift at Amazon.com Gift Central
Alternative Health & Beauty Store
Be kind to your body, Be kind to earth.
Vegetarian, Chemical free, Additive free, All natural.
Lung Cancer
I have been busy and I apologize to my faithful readers that I have missed 8 days. I am moving in a month and have had lots to do since it is a relocation to another city. Plus throw a baby shower in there for my sisterinlaw and there goes two days alone in preparations. It was worth it though. We had a contest where we had to guess the baby food without the labels and I tell you, they didn't have flavours like that for my kids 13 years ago! Yuck! I understand why babies make those faces and spit it out now! Some food is not meant to be mixed and ground up together.
Keeping on the theme of children I would like to introduce the following article to you. I thought it was an amusing yet truthful read.
What 9/11 and a 3-Year-Old Taught Me About Gratitude
Copyright 2005 Tony Mase
One of the most important concepts Wallace D. Wattles wrote
about in his books was gratitude. As a matter of fact, in
the book for which he's best known, "The Science of Getting
Rich", Wallace D. Wattles devoted an entire chapter to
gratitude and used the word gratitude some thirty-two times
throughout the book.
Although I'd been studying "The Science of Getting Rich" by
Wallace D. Wattles for over three years, and made
incredible changes in my life by applying its principles, I
still didn't completely get this gratitude "thing".
I understood the importance of gratitude intellectually
and, at least to some extent, was applying it in my life,
but, and I don't know if this was just a "guy thing" or
what, I didn't feel like I really understood it emotionally
at a deep down, visceral level.
Then it happened...
September 11, 2001...
A day few of us will ever forget.
The one thing I'll always remember most about that fateful
day was my son, who was three years old at the time,
looking at me with his big brown eyes asking me the dreaded
but inevitable...
"Why Daddy?"
For lack of anything better, I gave him the best good guy,
bad guy analogy I could come with at the time and then, for
whatever reason, I ended it with, "as bad as this appears
to be, we have a lot to be thankful for."
Hoping that was that, I quickly began thinking of something
else we could do or talk about to get his mind off the
horror he'd just witnessed on television.
Suddenly, I heard him ask...
"Like what Daddy?"
"Like what, what?" I replied.
"Like what we have to be thankful for?" he asked.
"Great," I thought to myself, "I thought we were done with
this."
"Well," I said, "we can be thankful that you, me and mommy
are okay. A lot of little boys and girls lost their mommies
or daddies today. Some of them lost both."
He thought for a moment and then asked, "What else Daddy?"
"Well," I replied, "we can be thankful that so many people
were able to get out of those buildings alive before they
collapsed."
"What else Daddy?" he asked.
"Well..." I hesitated, desperately trying to think of
something else.
"Come on Daddy," he said, "what else we have to be thankful
for?"
"Well," I said, "we can be thankful for all the brave fire
fighters, paramedics and police officers who are helping
those who need it."
"And the fire fighters have fire trucks with lights and
sirens, huh Daddy?" he asked with a smile on his face.
"Yes son, they do," I replied, returning his smile.
"What else Daddy?" he asked.
"Well son," I said, "we can be thankful that we have a
strong military to protect us."
"And they have tanks, huh Daddy?" he asked, this time with
a really big smile (for whatever reason, he *really* likes
tanks :-)).
"Yes son, they do," I replied, "and they have lots of them."
"What else we have to be thankful for Daddy?" he asked...
As his "grilling" continued (which at the time seemed like
it went on forever :-)), and the list of things we had to
be thankful for grew larger and larger and larger, I could
*feel*, rather dramatically, our thoughts shift from those
of doubt, uncertainty, fear and worry, to those of
certainty and faith.
Finally...
I got it! :-)
You see, all too often, when something's not "right" in our
lives, or something's not the way we'd prefer it to be,
even though it may be only a *tiny* portion of our overall
experience, we tend to focus all our mental energy on it
causing us to lose our perspective and, in the process, we
virtually insure we'll get more of the same... more of what
we *don't* want.
On the other hand...
Gratitude forces us to focus on what's right in our lives,
on the things that are the way we'd prefer them to be,
which, chances are, are the overwhelming majority of our
experience at any given time, causing us to put things in
their proper perspective and thereby virtually insuring
we'll get more of the same... more of what we *do* want!
Since that unforgettable day, I've repeated this simple
exercise dozens of times...
Whenever I feel thoughts of doubt, uncertainty, fear or
worry starting to creep in, I simply ask myself what I have
to be thankful for right *now* and then I keep asking...
What else...
What else...
What else...
It's never failed yet to almost instantly help me regain a
"constructive" perspective and replace those "destructive"
thoughts of doubt, uncertainty, fear and worry with
"constructive" thoughts of certainty and faith.
Thanks son. :-)
----------------------------------------------------
Tony Mase is a serious student of the works of Wallace D.
Wattles and the publisher of "The Science of Abundant Life"
ebook by Wallace D. Wattles...
http://www.thescienceofabundantlife.com
Want Your Own Home Business!Click here
Find the Perfect Holiday Gift at Amazon.com Gift Central
Alternative Health & Beauty Store
Be kind to your body, Be kind to earth.
Vegetarian, Chemical free, Additive free, All natural.
Lung Cancer
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Have you ever noticed that if you are engaged in something you enjoy doing you automatically become well versed in the subject? You know what is going to happen and can find all the energy and motivation needed to complete the task at hand. That is one reason why it is important in our lives to have an activity all of our own that we can get lost in if we are spending our days in a job we don't necessarily care for. We need that time to become self absorbed. To allow our mind to relax and become immersed in a little selfish pleasure. It gives the body time to unwind and process the days events on an even keel. It is a stress reliever. It allows the body to function in a more effective manner in all aspects of the day to day activities.
The following article talks a little more about how we can incorporate anticipation into our daily actions so we can have a wealthier, enriching life experience.
Creative and Rich - How Anticipation Creates Wealth
Copyright 2005 Tania French
A wealthy person anticipates riches. Without anticipation
you swim in a sea of uncertainty. With it, you participate
in making your creative life a wealthy life.
A few days ago I decided to replace a person working for us
who was chronically late.
Well, it’s done. Yesterday I hired someone who fulfills all
the requirements of the job. And I’m thrilled about the
change. It’s so gratifying to have someone who is eager and
happy to learn and to help.
And guess what else I found. This person anticipates what
needs to get done. What a great gift to be around someone
who thinks ahead and does things without asking. That is
key.
Anticipation and Participation go hand in hand. A Doer
actively participates in every aspect of life. And the
secret to full participation is to anticipate each new task
by allowing it to appear in your mind.
This doesn’t mean that you don’t relax. In fact, the
opposite is true. People in touch with the pulse of life
have to be relaxed. Anticipation Is relaxing. Because you
never have to look back and worry. You’ve silenced the
worry-monger. You are marching towards your goal by
anticipating each moment.
Always keep your goal in mind. This is key. The target of
anticipation is your goal.
You have become an efficiency machine. Because you’re not
wasting precious energy by procrastinating. Your mind,
cleared of clutter, becomes a vessel for creative thinking.
You are refreshed and rejuvenated, and you’re always
looking forward, never back. You refuse to be on auto-pilot.
I don’t want to be on auto-anything. Those auto-pilot
blinders cause the death of creativity. Beware and declare.
Otherwise that sneaky auto-pilot might creep into your
thoughts again. After all, you can get addicted to being a
slave to the grave that you dig for yourself.
There’s no other way to live a life of wealth than to
embrace what’s around the corner. By anticipating what’s
needed. And participating to get the job done.
You have now conquered the fear that can whisper in your
ear.
Anticipation leads to Creation and turns into Wealth. Just
remember that order. You’re on your way to a life of
prosperity and riches.
Now that I’ve gotten your attention, shift your gears and
read something totally radical, totally out-of-the-box.
I’ve got that something for you. And I bet you’ll be
knocked off your feet as soon as you start inhaling these
powerful words.
----------------------------------------------------
Tania French is a composer who has enjoyed performances and
radio broadcasts of her music worldwide. Her new CD
“Renewal” (released December, 2005) will feature a
rejuvenating fusion of new age, classical, and world songs.
Subscribe to her popular newsletter at
http://www.prosperousartist.com
© 2005 Tania French. All Rights Reserved.
Are you a stay at home parent looking to earn some extra income? Come check out this site for cool ideas.Bizymoms.com
Want Your Own Home Business!Click here
Find the Perfect Holiday Gift at Amazon.com Gift Central
Alternative Health & Beauty Store
Be kind to your body, Be kind to earth.
Vegetarian, Chemical free, Additive free, All natural.
Lung Cancer
The following article talks a little more about how we can incorporate anticipation into our daily actions so we can have a wealthier, enriching life experience.
Creative and Rich - How Anticipation Creates Wealth
Copyright 2005 Tania French
A wealthy person anticipates riches. Without anticipation
you swim in a sea of uncertainty. With it, you participate
in making your creative life a wealthy life.
A few days ago I decided to replace a person working for us
who was chronically late.
Well, it’s done. Yesterday I hired someone who fulfills all
the requirements of the job. And I’m thrilled about the
change. It’s so gratifying to have someone who is eager and
happy to learn and to help.
And guess what else I found. This person anticipates what
needs to get done. What a great gift to be around someone
who thinks ahead and does things without asking. That is
key.
Anticipation and Participation go hand in hand. A Doer
actively participates in every aspect of life. And the
secret to full participation is to anticipate each new task
by allowing it to appear in your mind.
This doesn’t mean that you don’t relax. In fact, the
opposite is true. People in touch with the pulse of life
have to be relaxed. Anticipation Is relaxing. Because you
never have to look back and worry. You’ve silenced the
worry-monger. You are marching towards your goal by
anticipating each moment.
Always keep your goal in mind. This is key. The target of
anticipation is your goal.
You have become an efficiency machine. Because you’re not
wasting precious energy by procrastinating. Your mind,
cleared of clutter, becomes a vessel for creative thinking.
You are refreshed and rejuvenated, and you’re always
looking forward, never back. You refuse to be on auto-pilot.
I don’t want to be on auto-anything. Those auto-pilot
blinders cause the death of creativity. Beware and declare.
Otherwise that sneaky auto-pilot might creep into your
thoughts again. After all, you can get addicted to being a
slave to the grave that you dig for yourself.
There’s no other way to live a life of wealth than to
embrace what’s around the corner. By anticipating what’s
needed. And participating to get the job done.
You have now conquered the fear that can whisper in your
ear.
Anticipation leads to Creation and turns into Wealth. Just
remember that order. You’re on your way to a life of
prosperity and riches.
Now that I’ve gotten your attention, shift your gears and
read something totally radical, totally out-of-the-box.
I’ve got that something for you. And I bet you’ll be
knocked off your feet as soon as you start inhaling these
powerful words.
----------------------------------------------------
Tania French is a composer who has enjoyed performances and
radio broadcasts of her music worldwide. Her new CD
“Renewal” (released December, 2005) will feature a
rejuvenating fusion of new age, classical, and world songs.
Subscribe to her popular newsletter at
http://www.prosperousartist.com
© 2005 Tania French. All Rights Reserved.
Are you a stay at home parent looking to earn some extra income? Come check out this site for cool ideas.
Want Your Own Home Business!Click here
Find the Perfect Holiday Gift at Amazon.com Gift Central
Alternative Health & Beauty Store
Be kind to your body, Be kind to earth.
Vegetarian, Chemical free, Additive free, All natural.
Lung Cancer
Monday, November 14, 2005
Do you have a victim mentality? Do you know someone who does? Where nothing is ever your fault, the world hates you, and everyone is in a conspiracy to make sure your life is hell and every time you get to take one step forward you are knocked two steps back.
I was in that mindset for years. It is very hard to get out of. To retrain your thought process and over talk your immediate responses so you are not always just a reactive creature of habit. Change takes alot of work. Our innate sense of being is to just go with the easiest or the most comfortable. Even if we are miserable it is something we know, something we can hide in. Who has time to relearn the right way to behave when our lives are busy enough as it is. We muddle through. We run away if we get into situations we can't deal with, or we just curl up internally and go through our lives as mere shells of existence.
The following read talks more in depth of the victim mentality and ways we can overcome.
Owning Your Own Controls
Copyright 2005 Eldon Taylor
What makes the difference between two children raised in
the same environment with the same parents when one ends up
a neuro-surgeon and the other a hardened violent criminal?
What makes the difference between two patients suffering in
a hospice center from identical conditions when one
requires very little medication and is liked by all, while
the other suffers bitterly regardless of the medication and
no one really wants to be around them? What are the subtle
differences that seem to allow one person to live a certain
life style free of illness while another doing the same
things becomes ill as a result? What defines a stimulus as
stressful to one while the same exact stimulus is welcomed
with excitement by another? The answer is so simple as to
be overly obvious.
In my work, I have had the opportunity to work with a wide
range of individuals in differing settings, ranging from
the inmate incarcerated in maximum security to the terminal
patient in the hospice center. Over the years my
observations ultimately led to this hypothesis: the persons
who seem to suffer most consider themselves to be victims.
The classic victim scenario in the prison generally goes
something like this: all but for the grace of God there go
you. Translated by the inmate population, this means
something like, "What would you do? Where would you be?
After all, my daddy was an alcoholic, my mother was a
prostitute and the neighbor boy hung heroine on me when I
was only eight".
The fact is, our environment and circumstance do imprint us
in profound ways. Our very ability to cope depends in large
on our choices and they are predetermined in large by our
enculturation process. Thus, what else could the victim of
these tragedies do?
We all grow up with some substantially similar ideas and
notions about what is fair and acceptable. We all tend to
say things like "When I'm a parent, I'll do it
differently"; and yet, when our children act in some way
that meets with our disapproval, we respond just as our
parents did. Psychologist call this process imprinting. In
very simple terms, if you raise a duckling with chickens,
it will behave as a chicken. There is a marvelous story
that illustrates this point.
It seems one day that an eagle flew over a chicken coop. To
his amazement, pecking in the yard below, was a large
gathering of chickens and a lone, beautiful female eagle.
He swooped down for a closer look and the chickens together
with the eagle fled to the chicken house. For days the
eagle watched the chickens from a distance until one day he
was certain that he could stop the beautiful eagle before
she reached the chicken house. With the prowess of an eagle
he was suddenly in between the eagle and the chicken house.
She trembled. He spoke, "What are you doing living down
here like a chicken". She answered, "I am a chicken". He
argued, showing her the similarities between himself and
her. He told her of what it was like to be an eagle and
soar high above the earth. His stories only frightened her.
Finally she said, "Well if I'm an eagle then you will not
harm me". He responded in the affirmative. She said, "Then
step back and show me." As he stepped backed she seized the
opportunity to run into the chicken house. When the other
chickens questioned her about the encounter, she told them
all of how she had outsmarted the eagle. Of course, all the
chickens commended her for tricking the eagle.
Many of us are like the female eagle. We outsmart ourselves
with betrayals of who we really are. Our choices are
predicated on our beliefs and our beliefs have been adopted
from the same process inherent to the story about the
chickens and the chicken house. Here is another example of
how this kind of reason pervades who and what we are.
One day a man walking the streets of Manhattan passed
beneath a high rise complex that consisted of very
expensive condominiums. As he passed under the balcony of
one of the two story units a flower pot which had been
placed precariously close to the balcony edge fell and
crashed down on his head. Now imagine this man's choices.
What could he do? What would be the normal thing to do?
Well, he could take the broken pot back to its owners and
put it guess where. Administer a beating to the idiot that
put the flower pot too close to the edge, that's what most
people respond with as their first thought when I have
presented this scenario to audiences. What else could he
do? Well, he could be metaphysical. You know, kismet,
what's to be will be, after all, maybe the blow to his head
rearranged some neurons and now he will experience higher
consciousness. So just be metaphysical and act as if it was
supposed to happen and just go on down the road. What else
could he do? Well, he could be an opportunist. You know
that flower pot fell from a wealthy person's ledge. Whip
lash, concussion, something like that---sue the sucker!
What else could he do? What would you do? How about taking
the flower to a florist, potting it and returning it as a
gift of love? Could you just as well do that? Of all the
possibilities, which one do you think would produce the
best outcome for yourself in terms of happiness, wholeness
and even health?
The fact is, the normal person has been trained to behave
in a normal manner. Normal means that they have a right to
become angry and exact punishment. Robert Laing once said
something like "normal man has educated himself to be
normal and thus to become absurd" in his book THE POLITICS
OF EXPERIENCE. The emotional reaction termed anger is just
one such absurdity. What happens to the body when one
becomes normal is no less than a weakening of the immune
system and further, suspended states of fight flight, or as
we know it in more modern man, anxiety and depression,
literally produce chemistry that is toxic to the human
condition. As Dr.'s Steven Locke and Douglas Colligan point
out in their book, THE HEALER WITHIN, these hostile
emotions, victim, if you will, feelings, literally can
condition the body in the direction of disease as well as
produce certain diseases in and of themselves (1986).
The correct answer in our flower pot analogy is of course,
pot the flower and return it as a gift. The idea is not
foreign in terms of possible alternatives and yet it is
seldom ever considered. Our choices arise from our
definitions and they have been incubated all too often in
chicken houses, but let's stop for a moment and look at one
of the preferred enculturated choices from the human
chicken house. My work and research has demonstrated that
for every fear there is an anger response. Sometimes the
anger is withheld, turned in, and sometimes it is acted
out. Nevertheless, there is no such thing as anger without
some fear underpinning it! Now, what exactly is anger? My
examination of this cycle of fear and anger has given rise
to an acronym that I often use when describing anger.
A---a, N---nasty, G---getting, E---even, R---response. A
nasty getting even response. If fear and anger are
circular, what is it that gives rise to feeling frightened,
anxious or nervous, becoming angry and responding in a
fight/flight way when the stimulus is something like the
way my employer speaks to me, the way my significant other
looks at me, or just the stuff one feels when cut off in
five o'clock traffic and given the infamous bird. None of
these things are truly life threatening and after all,
isn't that what the fight/flight functions are wired in
for, the preservation of the species?
Dr. Carl LaPresch used to speak of the four "F's" in his
introductory lectures regarding basic psychology. These
four primitive drives were the basis for most behavior. In
fact, it was Carl who first suggested to me that perhaps
the highest act of human consciousness was cortical
inhibition---over riding the wired in responses that can
occur in the primitive brain. The four "f's" are easy to
remember and oriented to species preservation: fight,
flight, feeding and---well the propagation of the species.
Why then a fight/flight response to a synthetic
stimuli---that is a stimuli that is not life threatening?
What special lens do we attach to certain events in life
that give rise to a perception of threat when indeed the
threat is not a tiger in hot pursuit? My early hypothesis
regarding the fear/anger loop eventually led to the
conclusion that perceived threats were rejection oriented.
In other words, our individual intrinsic value was denied.
Interestingly though, for most of us, the normal strategy
for avoiding rejection is itself the ultimate rejection.
There are two ways to be tied up in the world. One is to
have someone literally bind you and another is simply to
tether oneself to a thread, refusing either to pull hard
enough to break it or to let it go. Many of our beliefs are
the product of the latter. We refuse to let them go. Like
the eagle raised by the chickens, we know what we are
expected to do and define our behavior accordingly. Thus,
to resolve conflict we establish strategies designed to
protect us from rejection. Among these strategies our
defense mechanisms function, as well as our attitudes,
toward everything we will encounter in our lives.
When I was a boy my definitions included labels and what I
have termed for years as the no-don't syndrome. In my many
lectures throughout America and Europe, the audience has
repeatedly verified that my experience was not unique.
Indeed, it was the rule. If this generalization applies,
then most of us were raised with statements like: "You're
not old enough." "You're stupid or that's stupid."
"Children are to be seen and not heard." "Don't do
this"---"you can't do that"---and so forth as well as a
host of labels.
It was not long before I was wearing glasses and one of my
best friends was black. My early definitions were in direct
conflict with my experience; still, various strategies for
coping with this conflict developed, albeit most
unconsciously.
It wasn't until I was in my thirties that I learned that
not only did I wear glasses and have black friends, but my
grandfather was Jewish and my great grandmother was Native
American. For years I had coped by demonstrating that I was
"tough enough" to wear glasses and not get called four-eyes
and to stand up for what just inherently seemed wrong and
later became known to me as bigotry and racism. In other
words, my defense strategy was compensatory---aggression
would align my inner with the outer---my experience with my
training as a child could avoid conflict by simply becoming
too tough for someone to challenge my behavior.
The result was devastating. Not only did I poison myself,
but the never ending quest to justify my actions produced
increasing needs for aggression. My relationships
deteriorated and/or were destroyed, and well, you can just
imagine the havoc wreaked in my own life. The method of
choice for conflict in my particular upbringing was
aggressive---and hostility was the norm.
What I have found over the years of life and work is that
once again, this was not a unique pattern. Oh, the
circumstances may vary from individual to individual, but
the essence of the lesson never did. The result for many of
us is a mechanism called blame. That brings us right back
to our inmate whose daddy was an alcoholic and so forth.
Alas, a light went on that set years of work and research
into perspective, at least for me.
Now here is the bottom line: as long as one blames anything
or anyone they are effectively tied up. There is nothing
they can do. They are victims of their circumstances. They
can only but whimper. As victims, they are helpless. As
victims, perhaps they are even due benefits such as
sympathy, attention, special care and so on. But as
victims, they are not in charge of their circumstances
and/or their responses.
Applying this theory I discovered that regardless of the
circumstances, from hospice to prison, the suffering was
directly related to blame or "victim-hood". What is more, I
discovered that on the opposite side of this continuum,
rested the self responsible. The person who assumed control
of their own life and found creative solutions for
difficult situations---returning the flower, if you will,
replanted in a new flower pot.
These responsible individuals were in charge of their own
inner environments. Their secret was simple, they did not
become angry and involved in blame. Oh they did not
necessarily accept everyone or anything, in fact, quite the
contrary in some instances, but they did not waste time
eliminating their possibilities by divesting their power
via blame. They took the initiative to resolve situations
positively and assumed the responsibility for doing so.
Unlike the whimpering victim, they were what they made of
the stuff of life and accepted so.
There is an interesting experiment that has been replicated
many times and perhaps addresses the effect this kind of
hopelessness/helplessness mentality can have on physical
health. Dogs were placed in Pavlovian slings where they
could do nothing when electric shock was administered by
psychologist Martin Seligman at the University of
Pennsylvania in an experiment to determine the effects of
helplessness. Seligman suggests that many of us have
learned that nothing can be done in many circumstances to
make a difference. Once the dogs were conditioned to the
shock they were then placed in cages with floors that on
one side of the cage an electric grid could be used to
apply shock while on the other side of a low barrier wall
the dog could escape the shock. What Seligman discovered
has many ramifications. Dogs who had not been conditioned
in the sling ran around frantically when shock was first
administered. They learned to jump the small wall and
escape the shock. They became so good at it that when the
electricity was turned on, they simply got up and casually
jumped over the wall. However, dogs that had been
conditioned to the sling ran frantically at first just as
the unconditioned dogs but soon quit and only whimpered.
They accepted the shock passively and thus the whimpering
shocked dog metaphor (Ibid). This sense or conditioned
belief in victim-hood has been demonstrated to effect the
immune system in a negative manner. The Institute of Noetic
Sciences has funded much of the research in what is now
termed PNI or psychoneuroimmunology and this body of work
shows clearly, as does the entire body of literature
regarding mind/body wellness, that the deleterious effects
of certain mental processes on the body can literally kill
( ). Nothing I could do---helplessness---victim-hood---this
side of the responsibility equation is among the worst of
mental processes one can adopt regardless of its source. In
fact, in a paper that is now in press, we learned from a
follow-up study of terminally diagnosed patients conducted
by PROGRESSIVE AWARENESS RESEARCH, that the physicians
attitude is somehow more influential on patient life
expectancy than either the treatment modality or the
patients attitude toward their future, their responsibility
regarding the disease and/or their outcome expectation.
Somehow the attitude of the physician is assumed to have
been communicated to the patient for in every single
instance where the physicians responded to the
questionnaire regarding patients role in terms of the
positive use of their mind with neutral to negative
evaluation, the patient died. The study generally indicated
a survival rate of over 30% for all respondents (remission)
and an increase in life by up to three years over time
given in prognosis for those patients whose physicians
generally agreed that the mind has a role in patient health
even in the face of "terminal" illness. The assumption
suggests that one must fully accept the responsibility for
their own lives and mental processes even if that means
guarding against the influence of another.
What then is the pragmatic to overcome, or I prefer, to
outgrow, this early conditioning. Once again, it's so
simple as to be difficult---difficult to believe and
difficult to do. The answer is forgive! In my research we
began applying three messages as cognitive tools to untie
the victim. They are called the forgiveness set and consist
of these three statements: I forgive myself; I forgive all
others; and I am forgiven.
When you forgive, you can not blame. If you do not blame
it's exceedingly difficult to become angry. What you cannot
become angry about, you do not fear. When there is nothing
to fear, there is nothing to become angry about or no one
to blame. Life is simply a miracle and living is the
process of maximizing the miraculous experience. Every
thought or deed becomes therefore differently oriented.
When you accept responsibility for everything in your
universe, you gain the power to make changes. The real
changes are made in you and thus your experience of life
and self become qualitatively different almost immediately.
You are in charge of your inner environment, and your
beliefs, attitudes and emotions do matter to you. Your
health, your enjoyment of life, your ability to become all
that you are is inescapably involved in your ability to
forgive and let go.
But alas, you may say, that's all too simple and further
life sucks and then we die. And I am sure you can find many
that will agree. Still, if you want to see the barnyard
from the sky, spread your wings and see for yourself.
Seeing is believing. Try it---I promise, you'll like it.
And if necessary, fake it until you make it.
----------------------------------------------------
Eldon Taylor is the author of over 200 books and self
improvement programs. His vitae is listed in over a dozen
"Who's Who" publications. He is diplomat in the American
Psychotherapy Association and received the 2005 Peace Prize
awarded by the United Cultural Convention for his work in
teachning self-responsibility around the world. His works
are available in five languages and are sold around the
world http://www.innertalk.com
Are you a stay at home parent looking to earn some extra income? Come check out this site for cool ideas.Bizymoms.com
Want Your Own Home Business!Click here
Computer Specials
Alternative Health & Beauty Store
Be kind to your body, Be kind to earth.
Vegetarian, Chemical free, Additive free, All natural.
Lung Cancer
I was in that mindset for years. It is very hard to get out of. To retrain your thought process and over talk your immediate responses so you are not always just a reactive creature of habit. Change takes alot of work. Our innate sense of being is to just go with the easiest or the most comfortable. Even if we are miserable it is something we know, something we can hide in. Who has time to relearn the right way to behave when our lives are busy enough as it is. We muddle through. We run away if we get into situations we can't deal with, or we just curl up internally and go through our lives as mere shells of existence.
The following read talks more in depth of the victim mentality and ways we can overcome.
Owning Your Own Controls
Copyright 2005 Eldon Taylor
What makes the difference between two children raised in
the same environment with the same parents when one ends up
a neuro-surgeon and the other a hardened violent criminal?
What makes the difference between two patients suffering in
a hospice center from identical conditions when one
requires very little medication and is liked by all, while
the other suffers bitterly regardless of the medication and
no one really wants to be around them? What are the subtle
differences that seem to allow one person to live a certain
life style free of illness while another doing the same
things becomes ill as a result? What defines a stimulus as
stressful to one while the same exact stimulus is welcomed
with excitement by another? The answer is so simple as to
be overly obvious.
In my work, I have had the opportunity to work with a wide
range of individuals in differing settings, ranging from
the inmate incarcerated in maximum security to the terminal
patient in the hospice center. Over the years my
observations ultimately led to this hypothesis: the persons
who seem to suffer most consider themselves to be victims.
The classic victim scenario in the prison generally goes
something like this: all but for the grace of God there go
you. Translated by the inmate population, this means
something like, "What would you do? Where would you be?
After all, my daddy was an alcoholic, my mother was a
prostitute and the neighbor boy hung heroine on me when I
was only eight".
The fact is, our environment and circumstance do imprint us
in profound ways. Our very ability to cope depends in large
on our choices and they are predetermined in large by our
enculturation process. Thus, what else could the victim of
these tragedies do?
We all grow up with some substantially similar ideas and
notions about what is fair and acceptable. We all tend to
say things like "When I'm a parent, I'll do it
differently"; and yet, when our children act in some way
that meets with our disapproval, we respond just as our
parents did. Psychologist call this process imprinting. In
very simple terms, if you raise a duckling with chickens,
it will behave as a chicken. There is a marvelous story
that illustrates this point.
It seems one day that an eagle flew over a chicken coop. To
his amazement, pecking in the yard below, was a large
gathering of chickens and a lone, beautiful female eagle.
He swooped down for a closer look and the chickens together
with the eagle fled to the chicken house. For days the
eagle watched the chickens from a distance until one day he
was certain that he could stop the beautiful eagle before
she reached the chicken house. With the prowess of an eagle
he was suddenly in between the eagle and the chicken house.
She trembled. He spoke, "What are you doing living down
here like a chicken". She answered, "I am a chicken". He
argued, showing her the similarities between himself and
her. He told her of what it was like to be an eagle and
soar high above the earth. His stories only frightened her.
Finally she said, "Well if I'm an eagle then you will not
harm me". He responded in the affirmative. She said, "Then
step back and show me." As he stepped backed she seized the
opportunity to run into the chicken house. When the other
chickens questioned her about the encounter, she told them
all of how she had outsmarted the eagle. Of course, all the
chickens commended her for tricking the eagle.
Many of us are like the female eagle. We outsmart ourselves
with betrayals of who we really are. Our choices are
predicated on our beliefs and our beliefs have been adopted
from the same process inherent to the story about the
chickens and the chicken house. Here is another example of
how this kind of reason pervades who and what we are.
One day a man walking the streets of Manhattan passed
beneath a high rise complex that consisted of very
expensive condominiums. As he passed under the balcony of
one of the two story units a flower pot which had been
placed precariously close to the balcony edge fell and
crashed down on his head. Now imagine this man's choices.
What could he do? What would be the normal thing to do?
Well, he could take the broken pot back to its owners and
put it guess where. Administer a beating to the idiot that
put the flower pot too close to the edge, that's what most
people respond with as their first thought when I have
presented this scenario to audiences. What else could he
do? Well, he could be metaphysical. You know, kismet,
what's to be will be, after all, maybe the blow to his head
rearranged some neurons and now he will experience higher
consciousness. So just be metaphysical and act as if it was
supposed to happen and just go on down the road. What else
could he do? Well, he could be an opportunist. You know
that flower pot fell from a wealthy person's ledge. Whip
lash, concussion, something like that---sue the sucker!
What else could he do? What would you do? How about taking
the flower to a florist, potting it and returning it as a
gift of love? Could you just as well do that? Of all the
possibilities, which one do you think would produce the
best outcome for yourself in terms of happiness, wholeness
and even health?
The fact is, the normal person has been trained to behave
in a normal manner. Normal means that they have a right to
become angry and exact punishment. Robert Laing once said
something like "normal man has educated himself to be
normal and thus to become absurd" in his book THE POLITICS
OF EXPERIENCE. The emotional reaction termed anger is just
one such absurdity. What happens to the body when one
becomes normal is no less than a weakening of the immune
system and further, suspended states of fight flight, or as
we know it in more modern man, anxiety and depression,
literally produce chemistry that is toxic to the human
condition. As Dr.'s Steven Locke and Douglas Colligan point
out in their book, THE HEALER WITHIN, these hostile
emotions, victim, if you will, feelings, literally can
condition the body in the direction of disease as well as
produce certain diseases in and of themselves (1986).
The correct answer in our flower pot analogy is of course,
pot the flower and return it as a gift. The idea is not
foreign in terms of possible alternatives and yet it is
seldom ever considered. Our choices arise from our
definitions and they have been incubated all too often in
chicken houses, but let's stop for a moment and look at one
of the preferred enculturated choices from the human
chicken house. My work and research has demonstrated that
for every fear there is an anger response. Sometimes the
anger is withheld, turned in, and sometimes it is acted
out. Nevertheless, there is no such thing as anger without
some fear underpinning it! Now, what exactly is anger? My
examination of this cycle of fear and anger has given rise
to an acronym that I often use when describing anger.
A---a, N---nasty, G---getting, E---even, R---response. A
nasty getting even response. If fear and anger are
circular, what is it that gives rise to feeling frightened,
anxious or nervous, becoming angry and responding in a
fight/flight way when the stimulus is something like the
way my employer speaks to me, the way my significant other
looks at me, or just the stuff one feels when cut off in
five o'clock traffic and given the infamous bird. None of
these things are truly life threatening and after all,
isn't that what the fight/flight functions are wired in
for, the preservation of the species?
Dr. Carl LaPresch used to speak of the four "F's" in his
introductory lectures regarding basic psychology. These
four primitive drives were the basis for most behavior. In
fact, it was Carl who first suggested to me that perhaps
the highest act of human consciousness was cortical
inhibition---over riding the wired in responses that can
occur in the primitive brain. The four "f's" are easy to
remember and oriented to species preservation: fight,
flight, feeding and---well the propagation of the species.
Why then a fight/flight response to a synthetic
stimuli---that is a stimuli that is not life threatening?
What special lens do we attach to certain events in life
that give rise to a perception of threat when indeed the
threat is not a tiger in hot pursuit? My early hypothesis
regarding the fear/anger loop eventually led to the
conclusion that perceived threats were rejection oriented.
In other words, our individual intrinsic value was denied.
Interestingly though, for most of us, the normal strategy
for avoiding rejection is itself the ultimate rejection.
There are two ways to be tied up in the world. One is to
have someone literally bind you and another is simply to
tether oneself to a thread, refusing either to pull hard
enough to break it or to let it go. Many of our beliefs are
the product of the latter. We refuse to let them go. Like
the eagle raised by the chickens, we know what we are
expected to do and define our behavior accordingly. Thus,
to resolve conflict we establish strategies designed to
protect us from rejection. Among these strategies our
defense mechanisms function, as well as our attitudes,
toward everything we will encounter in our lives.
When I was a boy my definitions included labels and what I
have termed for years as the no-don't syndrome. In my many
lectures throughout America and Europe, the audience has
repeatedly verified that my experience was not unique.
Indeed, it was the rule. If this generalization applies,
then most of us were raised with statements like: "You're
not old enough." "You're stupid or that's stupid."
"Children are to be seen and not heard." "Don't do
this"---"you can't do that"---and so forth as well as a
host of labels.
It was not long before I was wearing glasses and one of my
best friends was black. My early definitions were in direct
conflict with my experience; still, various strategies for
coping with this conflict developed, albeit most
unconsciously.
It wasn't until I was in my thirties that I learned that
not only did I wear glasses and have black friends, but my
grandfather was Jewish and my great grandmother was Native
American. For years I had coped by demonstrating that I was
"tough enough" to wear glasses and not get called four-eyes
and to stand up for what just inherently seemed wrong and
later became known to me as bigotry and racism. In other
words, my defense strategy was compensatory---aggression
would align my inner with the outer---my experience with my
training as a child could avoid conflict by simply becoming
too tough for someone to challenge my behavior.
The result was devastating. Not only did I poison myself,
but the never ending quest to justify my actions produced
increasing needs for aggression. My relationships
deteriorated and/or were destroyed, and well, you can just
imagine the havoc wreaked in my own life. The method of
choice for conflict in my particular upbringing was
aggressive---and hostility was the norm.
What I have found over the years of life and work is that
once again, this was not a unique pattern. Oh, the
circumstances may vary from individual to individual, but
the essence of the lesson never did. The result for many of
us is a mechanism called blame. That brings us right back
to our inmate whose daddy was an alcoholic and so forth.
Alas, a light went on that set years of work and research
into perspective, at least for me.
Now here is the bottom line: as long as one blames anything
or anyone they are effectively tied up. There is nothing
they can do. They are victims of their circumstances. They
can only but whimper. As victims, they are helpless. As
victims, perhaps they are even due benefits such as
sympathy, attention, special care and so on. But as
victims, they are not in charge of their circumstances
and/or their responses.
Applying this theory I discovered that regardless of the
circumstances, from hospice to prison, the suffering was
directly related to blame or "victim-hood". What is more, I
discovered that on the opposite side of this continuum,
rested the self responsible. The person who assumed control
of their own life and found creative solutions for
difficult situations---returning the flower, if you will,
replanted in a new flower pot.
These responsible individuals were in charge of their own
inner environments. Their secret was simple, they did not
become angry and involved in blame. Oh they did not
necessarily accept everyone or anything, in fact, quite the
contrary in some instances, but they did not waste time
eliminating their possibilities by divesting their power
via blame. They took the initiative to resolve situations
positively and assumed the responsibility for doing so.
Unlike the whimpering victim, they were what they made of
the stuff of life and accepted so.
There is an interesting experiment that has been replicated
many times and perhaps addresses the effect this kind of
hopelessness/helplessness mentality can have on physical
health. Dogs were placed in Pavlovian slings where they
could do nothing when electric shock was administered by
psychologist Martin Seligman at the University of
Pennsylvania in an experiment to determine the effects of
helplessness. Seligman suggests that many of us have
learned that nothing can be done in many circumstances to
make a difference. Once the dogs were conditioned to the
shock they were then placed in cages with floors that on
one side of the cage an electric grid could be used to
apply shock while on the other side of a low barrier wall
the dog could escape the shock. What Seligman discovered
has many ramifications. Dogs who had not been conditioned
in the sling ran around frantically when shock was first
administered. They learned to jump the small wall and
escape the shock. They became so good at it that when the
electricity was turned on, they simply got up and casually
jumped over the wall. However, dogs that had been
conditioned to the sling ran frantically at first just as
the unconditioned dogs but soon quit and only whimpered.
They accepted the shock passively and thus the whimpering
shocked dog metaphor (Ibid). This sense or conditioned
belief in victim-hood has been demonstrated to effect the
immune system in a negative manner. The Institute of Noetic
Sciences has funded much of the research in what is now
termed PNI or psychoneuroimmunology and this body of work
shows clearly, as does the entire body of literature
regarding mind/body wellness, that the deleterious effects
of certain mental processes on the body can literally kill
( ). Nothing I could do---helplessness---victim-hood---this
side of the responsibility equation is among the worst of
mental processes one can adopt regardless of its source. In
fact, in a paper that is now in press, we learned from a
follow-up study of terminally diagnosed patients conducted
by PROGRESSIVE AWARENESS RESEARCH, that the physicians
attitude is somehow more influential on patient life
expectancy than either the treatment modality or the
patients attitude toward their future, their responsibility
regarding the disease and/or their outcome expectation.
Somehow the attitude of the physician is assumed to have
been communicated to the patient for in every single
instance where the physicians responded to the
questionnaire regarding patients role in terms of the
positive use of their mind with neutral to negative
evaluation, the patient died. The study generally indicated
a survival rate of over 30% for all respondents (remission)
and an increase in life by up to three years over time
given in prognosis for those patients whose physicians
generally agreed that the mind has a role in patient health
even in the face of "terminal" illness. The assumption
suggests that one must fully accept the responsibility for
their own lives and mental processes even if that means
guarding against the influence of another.
What then is the pragmatic to overcome, or I prefer, to
outgrow, this early conditioning. Once again, it's so
simple as to be difficult---difficult to believe and
difficult to do. The answer is forgive! In my research we
began applying three messages as cognitive tools to untie
the victim. They are called the forgiveness set and consist
of these three statements: I forgive myself; I forgive all
others; and I am forgiven.
When you forgive, you can not blame. If you do not blame
it's exceedingly difficult to become angry. What you cannot
become angry about, you do not fear. When there is nothing
to fear, there is nothing to become angry about or no one
to blame. Life is simply a miracle and living is the
process of maximizing the miraculous experience. Every
thought or deed becomes therefore differently oriented.
When you accept responsibility for everything in your
universe, you gain the power to make changes. The real
changes are made in you and thus your experience of life
and self become qualitatively different almost immediately.
You are in charge of your inner environment, and your
beliefs, attitudes and emotions do matter to you. Your
health, your enjoyment of life, your ability to become all
that you are is inescapably involved in your ability to
forgive and let go.
But alas, you may say, that's all too simple and further
life sucks and then we die. And I am sure you can find many
that will agree. Still, if you want to see the barnyard
from the sky, spread your wings and see for yourself.
Seeing is believing. Try it---I promise, you'll like it.
And if necessary, fake it until you make it.
----------------------------------------------------
Eldon Taylor is the author of over 200 books and self
improvement programs. His vitae is listed in over a dozen
"Who's Who" publications. He is diplomat in the American
Psychotherapy Association and received the 2005 Peace Prize
awarded by the United Cultural Convention for his work in
teachning self-responsibility around the world. His works
are available in five languages and are sold around the
world http://www.innertalk.com
Are you a stay at home parent looking to earn some extra income? Come check out this site for cool ideas.
Want Your Own Home Business!Click here
Computer Specials
Alternative Health & Beauty Store
Be kind to your body, Be kind to earth.
Vegetarian, Chemical free, Additive free, All natural.
Lung Cancer
Sunday, November 13, 2005
You know in school when they ask you where you see yourself in 5 or ten years? Back then we had such high visions. Some we managed to fulfill, others we are still working on and yet others again seem to be just a dream. The main thing we must remember though is every day we have the opportunity to advance and to reach for our goals to become the best humans we can possibly be despite our obstacles. That is the true measure of success in personal development.
The following article will help you establish a strategy to better plan and implement your perfect goal towards a deeper sense of personal development.
Developing Personal Depth
Copyright 2005 Mark Myhre
Everyone seeks personal depth to one degree or another.
Personal depth stands as *the* way to add richness and
beauty to our lives.
Nobody wants to be considered a shallow person. Still,
the concept of becoming a ‘deep’ person turns many people
off. We have this image of a deep person as someone who
spends a little too much time stroking his beard and
smoking his pipe, lost in thought way beyond us mere
mortals.
They ponder too much. They’re smarter than us. They go to
the opera -and actually know what the fat lady is singing
about! They’re just not normal.
Fortunately, personal depth exists as something else
altogether.
Achieving greater personal depth (and not coincidently,
greater success at anything you pursue) involves taking
specific actions. You can achieve greater personal depth
starting today by working with the seven characteristics
listed below.
1. Develop and use the generating energies of trust and
value.
Trust: Even though you don’t have all the answers, you know
you’ll get by. You’re ‘enough‘ and you know it. You can
count on yourself. You can rely on your power, strength
and talent. Whatever happens you know you can face it: you
know you’ll make it. Even though it may not be perfect,
you’ll handle the situation at hand ‘good enough’. That’s
trust.
Value: You might not be highly visible in the world, but
the role you play in life *is* highly valuable. You know
you are valuable in your way - to yourself and to those who
love you. Also, you recognize, respond and act upon your
value.
2. Develop and use the sustaining energies of life such as
discipline and ownership.
The discipline that’s self-imposed: You decide on
something and then you *follow through*. You follow your
own plan, your own rules - that’s discipline.
Ownership: Own your thoughts and feelings. Own your
emotions. Own your failures - so you can change them. Own
that you’re responsible. And own your successes - so you
can keep them. Ownership gives you the ‘right’ to change.
3. Continuously create new meaning, new destiny, new
personality, and new self-image.
People with personal depth never settle for the way they
are. They may be satisfied, but they always seek to become
more. More meaning in their life. Higher destiny. Greater
complexity of personality. And new self-image.
4. Develop and strengthen character.
Character: By knowing your ideals and your principles, and
living by them…. by having ideas and opinions and standing
by them…. That’s how you build character and thus increase
your personal depth.
5. Continuous expansion of your power, strength,
responsibility and creativity.
You look for ways to be more powerful; to act, to get
involved in the world around you. You look for ways to take
more responsibility from the most minute to the most
magnificent. You know your strengths and look for ways to
use them. You work on expanding your creativity.
(Creativity is anything you do that inspires you or
inspires others.) Just taking a walk can be creative!
6. Sustained actualization.
You’re in touch with your thoughts and feelings, and you’re
not afraid to put them into action. You always think and
feel. You’re aware of that thinking and feeling. And you
act upon those thoughts and feelings.
7. Generating spirituality.
You don’t have to separate yourself from the mundane of
life to experience your spirituality. Rather, you seek the
spiritual *within* the material. Your spirituality
eventually becomes your number one priority.
You come to realize everything you experience is a
manifestation of your spirituality. There is no separation
between the spiritual and the living of life - that’s the
goal of the person seeking or having personal depth.
***
As you can see, personal depth is not something you check
off on a to-do list. Let’s see… walk the dog, take out the
trash, and oh yeah - achieve personal depth. No.
It’s an ongoing, never-ending, always-expanding endeavor.
Basically it all comes down to becoming more of yourself.
There are no limits, and that’s the good news. You can
always experience greater personal depth.
----------------------------------------------------
Mark Ivar Myhre, The Emotional Healing Wizard, offers
unique cutting-edge emotional healing tips, techniques and
secrets that teach you how to deal with depression, stress,
anxiety, and much more.
==> http://www.join-the-fun.com
Are you a stay at home parent looking to earn some extra income? Come check out this site for cool ideas.Bizymoms.com
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Computer Specials
Alternative Health & Beauty Store
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Lung Cancer
The following article will help you establish a strategy to better plan and implement your perfect goal towards a deeper sense of personal development.
Developing Personal Depth
Copyright 2005 Mark Myhre
Everyone seeks personal depth to one degree or another.
Personal depth stands as *the* way to add richness and
beauty to our lives.
Nobody wants to be considered a shallow person. Still,
the concept of becoming a ‘deep’ person turns many people
off. We have this image of a deep person as someone who
spends a little too much time stroking his beard and
smoking his pipe, lost in thought way beyond us mere
mortals.
They ponder too much. They’re smarter than us. They go to
the opera -and actually know what the fat lady is singing
about! They’re just not normal.
Fortunately, personal depth exists as something else
altogether.
Achieving greater personal depth (and not coincidently,
greater success at anything you pursue) involves taking
specific actions. You can achieve greater personal depth
starting today by working with the seven characteristics
listed below.
1. Develop and use the generating energies of trust and
value.
Trust: Even though you don’t have all the answers, you know
you’ll get by. You’re ‘enough‘ and you know it. You can
count on yourself. You can rely on your power, strength
and talent. Whatever happens you know you can face it: you
know you’ll make it. Even though it may not be perfect,
you’ll handle the situation at hand ‘good enough’. That’s
trust.
Value: You might not be highly visible in the world, but
the role you play in life *is* highly valuable. You know
you are valuable in your way - to yourself and to those who
love you. Also, you recognize, respond and act upon your
value.
2. Develop and use the sustaining energies of life such as
discipline and ownership.
The discipline that’s self-imposed: You decide on
something and then you *follow through*. You follow your
own plan, your own rules - that’s discipline.
Ownership: Own your thoughts and feelings. Own your
emotions. Own your failures - so you can change them. Own
that you’re responsible. And own your successes - so you
can keep them. Ownership gives you the ‘right’ to change.
3. Continuously create new meaning, new destiny, new
personality, and new self-image.
People with personal depth never settle for the way they
are. They may be satisfied, but they always seek to become
more. More meaning in their life. Higher destiny. Greater
complexity of personality. And new self-image.
4. Develop and strengthen character.
Character: By knowing your ideals and your principles, and
living by them…. by having ideas and opinions and standing
by them…. That’s how you build character and thus increase
your personal depth.
5. Continuous expansion of your power, strength,
responsibility and creativity.
You look for ways to be more powerful; to act, to get
involved in the world around you. You look for ways to take
more responsibility from the most minute to the most
magnificent. You know your strengths and look for ways to
use them. You work on expanding your creativity.
(Creativity is anything you do that inspires you or
inspires others.) Just taking a walk can be creative!
6. Sustained actualization.
You’re in touch with your thoughts and feelings, and you’re
not afraid to put them into action. You always think and
feel. You’re aware of that thinking and feeling. And you
act upon those thoughts and feelings.
7. Generating spirituality.
You don’t have to separate yourself from the mundane of
life to experience your spirituality. Rather, you seek the
spiritual *within* the material. Your spirituality
eventually becomes your number one priority.
You come to realize everything you experience is a
manifestation of your spirituality. There is no separation
between the spiritual and the living of life - that’s the
goal of the person seeking or having personal depth.
***
As you can see, personal depth is not something you check
off on a to-do list. Let’s see… walk the dog, take out the
trash, and oh yeah - achieve personal depth. No.
It’s an ongoing, never-ending, always-expanding endeavor.
Basically it all comes down to becoming more of yourself.
There are no limits, and that’s the good news. You can
always experience greater personal depth.
----------------------------------------------------
Mark Ivar Myhre, The Emotional Healing Wizard, offers
unique cutting-edge emotional healing tips, techniques and
secrets that teach you how to deal with depression, stress,
anxiety, and much more.
==> http://www.join-the-fun.com
Are you a stay at home parent looking to earn some extra income? Come check out this site for cool ideas.
Want Your Own Home Business!Click here
Computer Specials
Alternative Health & Beauty Store
Be kind to your body, Be kind to earth.
Vegetarian, Chemical free, Additive free, All natural.
Lung Cancer
Saturday, November 12, 2005
I work in a Call Centre. But I receive inbound calls only. I refuse to do outbound. Once upon a time before I had much experience I did have to try a telemarketing job and I lasted 2 weeks. I hated it and totally empathized with all the home dwellers who have to be bothered answering these calls.
The other day, I had someone call me from The Toronto Star newspaper. They had a deal for the Saturday paper only being .49c instead of the usual $1.50. I tried to tell the gentleman that I didn't read the paper and I didn't need the t.v. guide due to the fact I have a channel listing all the shows when I care to look. Besides I have my favorite shows and I know when those are all on. He persisted and acted like I didn't even say no. He rattled off all my information to which I agreed was correct. Then he istantly said he was patching me through to the verification department to set up a payment service for me so I could receive my first edition.
Before I had a chance to object, he promptly pushed some buttons and I was listening to music. Thank Goodness! I hung up!
Now, knowing the Call Centre rules as I now have 3 years experience, I know that was not allowed and he was lucky I had the chance to hang up or I could have had his job.
The following article is pefect! I am going to try some of the tips she writes just to see what the effect is. I now am anxiously awaiting a call so I can have some fun!
Work From Home - Fun With Telemarketers
Copyright 2005 Elaine Currie
During the time I have spent working at home, I have
encountered many telemarketers. That's how I found out
about their radar: when I went out to work telemarketers
always rang in the evening while I was trying to cook or
eat dinner, now they ring during the day when I am trying
to work at home.
A joke that arrived in my email made me realise that I am
not alone in being less than fond of telemarketers. (In
fact, they are on my list right up with lawyers and estate
agents.) I'll be sharing a few tips from this joke with
you throughout this article but, if you want to read all 20
of them, you can see them at my website on the same page as
this article.
I can usually identify telemarketers immediately because
they will almost inevitably open with "Good morning, madam.
How are you today?" Nobody but a telemarketer would dream
of ringing a person and addressing her as "madam".
Presumably that is a marketing technique which is supposed
to give the illusion that you are the customer and the
telemarketer is there to serve you but it just gives me the
idea that I should have let the answering machine pick up
this call. The tip for circumventing the whole thing is:-
As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, scream "Oh my
God!" and then hang up.
It took me quite a while to get to grips with the constant
annoyance of telemarketing calls. I was brought up to be
polite but I eventually discovered it is impossible to get
rid of telemarketers without resorting to rudeness. I
don't ask these people to ring me up and try to sell me
things I don't want: everything from jigsaw puzzles and
books, through lingerie and cinema tickets to health
insurance and mobility aids. As I (thankfully) am and
always have been fully mobile, I don't understand the
reason for the last one.
Actually, the telemarketer who was offering mobility aids
was a great example of a bad telemarketer. His opening
gambit was "Good morning, madam. I'm from XYZ Company, I
expect you've heard of us?" When I replied "No." his
response was a grumpy-sounding "I can't think why not".
So, did he ring just to point out that I'm ignorant? When
he hurried on with his script and asked me if I have any
difficulty getting in or out of the house, I was tempted to
reply "Only when I'm drunk" but I managed to bite my lip on
that one: "no" is definitely the only safe word to use when
dealing with telemarketers.
A better way of dealing with this type of call is the
following tip:- If they say they're John Doe from XYZ
Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to
spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located,
how long it has been in business, how many people work
there, how they got into this line of work if they are
married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them
personal questions or questions about their company for as
long as necessary.
Alternatively try this tip:- Tell them you are hard of
hearing and that they need to speak up . . . louder . . .
louder . . .
The telemarketers for mobile phone companies are the
thickest skinned and most persistent variety of the species
I have encountered so far. They also tend to have the
strongest accents and I feel mean giving them a hard time
when they are at a disadvantage to begin with. I always
used to answer their questions in the hope that they would
realise that I was not a good prospect for mobile phone
upgrades. When I asked the last mobile phone telemarketer
why he thought I might want to give up my virtually free
phone deal and pay for line rental, he just started over
with his script listing the number of free minutes of air
time they would "give" me. The fact that I would not use
the air time seemed to make no difference, there was
nothing about that in his script and I had to resort to
abrupt termination of the call.
Next time I'll try this tip:- Tell the Telemarketer you are
busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you
his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back.
When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot
give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want
anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will
agree and you say, "Me either!" Hang up.
The telemarketer who wanted me to switch to a new power
supplier taught me a lot about the telemarketing
profession. The power supply marketers who turn up on my
doorstep, accost me in the supermarket or telephone me,
usually baffle me with figures, blind me with science and
leave me feeling I should sign up with them immediately.
The last one to phone me happened to ring while I was in my
office at home and I had my power bills to hand. The
telemarketer asked me how much I paid each month to my
power supplier and then assured me that he could save me
30% on my bills. I was impressed and asked how he
calculated that figure. He informed me that he had a
"chart". In an effort to finally understand the mysteries
of calculating these savings, I asked the telemarketer to
give me an exact breakdown of the amount his company would
charge for my most recent electricity bill. He said he
couldn't because he was not good at maths. As he had given
me the price per unit, I found it pretty easy to calculate
for myself but I couldn't understand why the cost came out
higher when he had said his company charged 30% less. I'd
barely managed to ask for an explanation when he hung up.
This particular telemarketer taught me that telemarketers
will tell you anything their script requires even if they
don't understand it or know it is a complete lie.
This tip might help:- Tell them to talk very slowly,
because you want to write every word down. Alternatively
this might work:- Insist that the caller is really your
buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out!
Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"
Telemarketers should be treated like children at bedtime:
use a firm tone when saying "no" and do not be drawn into
conversation. I have tried ignoring the "How are you
today" but that just means they launch straight into the
script. Next time I am going to try "I'm so glad you
asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have
all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes
are sore, my dog just died . . . "
I've tried asking pointedly: "What do you actually want?"
but the reply was "I want to try to save you money" (how
kind considering we are perfect strangers). If only I'd
received the telemarketer joke before this I would have
said "I just filed for bankruptcy and I could sure use some
money".
I've also tried "Are you selling something?" but they never
fall into the trap of answering that one. For days when
I'm not busy and fancy a little fun, I'm keeping a
crossword puzzle on my desk. I'll ask every telemarketer
who calls to help me solve some clues. I've made out a
score card for me -v- telemarketers and I give myself
double points each time I can force a telemarketer to hang
up.
----------------------------------------------------
Elaine Currie has a Work From Home Directory at her Plug-In
Profit Site to help everyone who wants to work at home:
http://www.Huntingvenus.com
Are you a stay at home parent looking to earn some extra income? Come check out this site for cool ideas.Bizymoms.com
Want Your Own Home Business!Click here
Computer Specials
Alternative Health & Beauty Store
Be kind to your body, Be kind to earth.
Vegetarian, Chemical free, Additive free, All natural.
Lung Cancer
The other day, I had someone call me from The Toronto Star newspaper. They had a deal for the Saturday paper only being .49c instead of the usual $1.50. I tried to tell the gentleman that I didn't read the paper and I didn't need the t.v. guide due to the fact I have a channel listing all the shows when I care to look. Besides I have my favorite shows and I know when those are all on. He persisted and acted like I didn't even say no. He rattled off all my information to which I agreed was correct. Then he istantly said he was patching me through to the verification department to set up a payment service for me so I could receive my first edition.
Before I had a chance to object, he promptly pushed some buttons and I was listening to music. Thank Goodness! I hung up!
Now, knowing the Call Centre rules as I now have 3 years experience, I know that was not allowed and he was lucky I had the chance to hang up or I could have had his job.
The following article is pefect! I am going to try some of the tips she writes just to see what the effect is. I now am anxiously awaiting a call so I can have some fun!
Work From Home - Fun With Telemarketers
Copyright 2005 Elaine Currie
During the time I have spent working at home, I have
encountered many telemarketers. That's how I found out
about their radar: when I went out to work telemarketers
always rang in the evening while I was trying to cook or
eat dinner, now they ring during the day when I am trying
to work at home.
A joke that arrived in my email made me realise that I am
not alone in being less than fond of telemarketers. (In
fact, they are on my list right up with lawyers and estate
agents.) I'll be sharing a few tips from this joke with
you throughout this article but, if you want to read all 20
of them, you can see them at my website on the same page as
this article.
I can usually identify telemarketers immediately because
they will almost inevitably open with "Good morning, madam.
How are you today?" Nobody but a telemarketer would dream
of ringing a person and addressing her as "madam".
Presumably that is a marketing technique which is supposed
to give the illusion that you are the customer and the
telemarketer is there to serve you but it just gives me the
idea that I should have let the answering machine pick up
this call. The tip for circumventing the whole thing is:-
As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, scream "Oh my
God!" and then hang up.
It took me quite a while to get to grips with the constant
annoyance of telemarketing calls. I was brought up to be
polite but I eventually discovered it is impossible to get
rid of telemarketers without resorting to rudeness. I
don't ask these people to ring me up and try to sell me
things I don't want: everything from jigsaw puzzles and
books, through lingerie and cinema tickets to health
insurance and mobility aids. As I (thankfully) am and
always have been fully mobile, I don't understand the
reason for the last one.
Actually, the telemarketer who was offering mobility aids
was a great example of a bad telemarketer. His opening
gambit was "Good morning, madam. I'm from XYZ Company, I
expect you've heard of us?" When I replied "No." his
response was a grumpy-sounding "I can't think why not".
So, did he ring just to point out that I'm ignorant? When
he hurried on with his script and asked me if I have any
difficulty getting in or out of the house, I was tempted to
reply "Only when I'm drunk" but I managed to bite my lip on
that one: "no" is definitely the only safe word to use when
dealing with telemarketers.
A better way of dealing with this type of call is the
following tip:- If they say they're John Doe from XYZ
Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to
spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located,
how long it has been in business, how many people work
there, how they got into this line of work if they are
married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them
personal questions or questions about their company for as
long as necessary.
Alternatively try this tip:- Tell them you are hard of
hearing and that they need to speak up . . . louder . . .
louder . . .
The telemarketers for mobile phone companies are the
thickest skinned and most persistent variety of the species
I have encountered so far. They also tend to have the
strongest accents and I feel mean giving them a hard time
when they are at a disadvantage to begin with. I always
used to answer their questions in the hope that they would
realise that I was not a good prospect for mobile phone
upgrades. When I asked the last mobile phone telemarketer
why he thought I might want to give up my virtually free
phone deal and pay for line rental, he just started over
with his script listing the number of free minutes of air
time they would "give" me. The fact that I would not use
the air time seemed to make no difference, there was
nothing about that in his script and I had to resort to
abrupt termination of the call.
Next time I'll try this tip:- Tell the Telemarketer you are
busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you
his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back.
When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot
give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want
anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will
agree and you say, "Me either!" Hang up.
The telemarketer who wanted me to switch to a new power
supplier taught me a lot about the telemarketing
profession. The power supply marketers who turn up on my
doorstep, accost me in the supermarket or telephone me,
usually baffle me with figures, blind me with science and
leave me feeling I should sign up with them immediately.
The last one to phone me happened to ring while I was in my
office at home and I had my power bills to hand. The
telemarketer asked me how much I paid each month to my
power supplier and then assured me that he could save me
30% on my bills. I was impressed and asked how he
calculated that figure. He informed me that he had a
"chart". In an effort to finally understand the mysteries
of calculating these savings, I asked the telemarketer to
give me an exact breakdown of the amount his company would
charge for my most recent electricity bill. He said he
couldn't because he was not good at maths. As he had given
me the price per unit, I found it pretty easy to calculate
for myself but I couldn't understand why the cost came out
higher when he had said his company charged 30% less. I'd
barely managed to ask for an explanation when he hung up.
This particular telemarketer taught me that telemarketers
will tell you anything their script requires even if they
don't understand it or know it is a complete lie.
This tip might help:- Tell them to talk very slowly,
because you want to write every word down. Alternatively
this might work:- Insist that the caller is really your
buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out!
Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"
Telemarketers should be treated like children at bedtime:
use a firm tone when saying "no" and do not be drawn into
conversation. I have tried ignoring the "How are you
today" but that just means they launch straight into the
script. Next time I am going to try "I'm so glad you
asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have
all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes
are sore, my dog just died . . . "
I've tried asking pointedly: "What do you actually want?"
but the reply was "I want to try to save you money" (how
kind considering we are perfect strangers). If only I'd
received the telemarketer joke before this I would have
said "I just filed for bankruptcy and I could sure use some
money".
I've also tried "Are you selling something?" but they never
fall into the trap of answering that one. For days when
I'm not busy and fancy a little fun, I'm keeping a
crossword puzzle on my desk. I'll ask every telemarketer
who calls to help me solve some clues. I've made out a
score card for me -v- telemarketers and I give myself
double points each time I can force a telemarketer to hang
up.
----------------------------------------------------
Elaine Currie has a Work From Home Directory at her Plug-In
Profit Site to help everyone who wants to work at home:
http://www.Huntingvenus.com
Are you a stay at home parent looking to earn some extra income? Come check out this site for cool ideas.
Want Your Own Home Business!Click here
Computer Specials
Alternative Health & Beauty Store
Be kind to your body, Be kind to earth.
Vegetarian, Chemical free, Additive free, All natural.
Lung Cancer
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